107 Power dynamics for non-kinksters (part 2) How to share power when you were raised to be an entitled jerk & a martyr

107 Power dynamics for non-kinksters (part 2) How to share power when you were raised to be an entitled jerk & a martyr

Jung has this great quote “Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” The shadow of love is power in Jung's estimation.


I look around the world and that sure seems true on a grand scale. And in our daily life, I think we *mean* to center love rather than power in our close relationships...but in reality, most of us struggle with power.


We struggle to accept that we want unnegotiated power (entitlement)

or

We struggle to accept that we want to experience a lack of power (martyrdom)

or

We struggle to accept that having power--even power we didn't ask for-- means having great responsibility (cue the Spiderman theme song)

But we aren't taught how to share power with our partners. How to be real about the shadow element that is ruling so much of our love life.


This isn't an episode about the grand scale- we are talking about how we made a mess of our loving home by ignoring the power dynamics at work under the surface and WHAT we each did to reverse the problem.


Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

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Episoder(258)

253 The Shadow of Compersion

253 The Shadow of Compersion

Compersion – feeling joy for another person’s joy – is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to non-monogamy. But, like anything that’s bright and shiny, there’s a shadow side to compersion, and...

15 Aug 43min

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris

Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogam...

1 Aug 1h 15min

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment

When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podcasts, find a poly-aware therapi...

18 Jul 48min

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework

To celebrate hitting 250 episodes of Playing With Fire, we’re diving deep into something we've been asked about constantly since our first episode on it over a year ago: Relationship Re-Imagination.We...

4 Jul 2h 24min

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships

When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if th...

27 Jun 51min

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?

So you made the transition to non-monogamy… but you ended up feeling like you’re living two separate parallel lives in different relationships. This might not seem like that big a deal from the outsid...

20 Jun 48min

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships

People pleasing is not an effective strategy on the path to healthy, conscious relating. But adopting an approach towards autonomy that amounts to ‘I don’t owe anyone anything’ is…not it either. These...

13 Jun 44min

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication

Chances are, if you know one thing about conscious relating, it’s that communication is key. And if you’re good at communicating in monogamous relationships, you might think that those skills will eas...

6 Jun 42min

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