144 Handling Polyamory Problems: Q&A with Polywise Authors Jessica Fern and David Cooley

We’re back with Jessica Fern and David Cooley, co-authors of the incredible book Polywise, and this time they’re answering your questions.

We cover so much in this episode, but it’s all through the lens of a restorative relational framework, which is an incredibly powerful way to transform how you move through conflict in your relationships. Their responses include both practical exercises that you can implement in your life today, and important, big-picture discussions about polyamory, attachment, jealousy, reassurance, parenting, and so much more.

Here are the questions that Jessica and David answer in this episode:

• What would you recommend for a hinge partner working to unpack codependence in non-monogamy?
• How do I manage this feeling? - When my partner is getting closer to someone else, in my head, that means that they're moving further away from me.
• How can I rebuild or repair metamour relationships when resentment and misunderstandings have started to pile up?
• What do you do when you're parenting with someone that you're disentangling from?
• How do I meet attachment needs within long distance partnerships?

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy and The Polysecure Workbook. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love.

Learn more at www.JessicaFern.com

David Cooley is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques.

To learn more about doing restorative partner work with David, visit his website here: ⁠www.restorativerelationship.com

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