Playing With Fire24 Aug 2024

166 Q&A Quickie: How do I deal with my anxiety when my partner is on a date?

Scenario: your anchor partner is on a date with someone else. You know they have a super hot connection, and sex is definitely on the table. You’re excited for them… but once they leave, and the time starts ticking by, all sorts of feelings are coming up. Your anxiety is building… and you don’t know how to deal with it.

We get asked about this scenario a lot, because it can be SO challenging. Good news—we’ve been there, we’ve learned a lot about our own do’s and don’ts, and we know how to help you find strategies that will work for you. And that’s exactly what we’re doing in this mini-episode!

We’re breaking down:

— How to effectively use trial and error and pattern detection in these situations

—Why jealousy is often just beneath the surface of this anxiety

— How to use resourcing and nervous system regulation while your partner is on a date

— Why parting and reentering are important opportunities for connecting with your anchor/nesting partner(s)

— Our experiences in these situations and the strategies that do and don’t work for us

— How to use The Jealousy Roadmap to work through your anxiety

— The importance of reconnecting before debriefing

— How you can actually gain wisdom from your jealousy and build intimacy with yourself and your partners

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Minimum Viable Agreements, discussed in Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101

— The Jealousy Roadmap

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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