241-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Do you smoke crack? Exactly. Canadian jeans step up and do the dew! We love audio that paints a picture. We have some that straight up blasts your face! If you can squirt, let us know how you do it - for realsies. We rank chocolate candy treats and Tina ranks Almond Joy at the BOTTOM! Do you think she's a communist???? Bunz strongly disagrees. Which country makes the best, most delicious chocolate treats? A serious debate takes place. Does size matter? Yes. For sure. Definitely. Your small penis size is bad luck and not your fault and now there's a movie about that. Tom used to be a doctor. Tina talks about T.O. - yes the former Pro Bowl receiver was on an Oprah-like show. Abusive dads often create great athletes/accomplished men - so maybe not a bad idea to beat your kids? Trashy panties smell good.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 11min

Don't you look at me like that!?! I'm just trying to impose on you and your family because I'm insane! Cats love BBQ sauce. It's true. If you want to win a cat over, feed it BBQ ribs with lots of sauce. The mommies confess shameful acts of the past - can you forgive them? We love when people stop BS'ing with the PC talk and start droppin F-bombs. Please do us a favor and cut the F'in S and just give us the F's and B's and the C's, you know what I'm sayin? Is anything worse than a co-worker? We think back on our office working days. Good lord do we feel for those of you who are still doing that. Drink water. Poop more.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 8min

Do you donate to THE St. Jude's? That's nice. So does the Klan and there ain't nuttin wrong with what they stand for. If you have a young, impressionable child a good thing to do is teach them that hateful, racist terrorist organizations are just fine - at least on Halloween. A REAL TALK update will have you pinchin pennies and throwing up in your mouth! There are limits to how cheap is acceptable and then there are these people who are gross and upsetting. Guess what? Some airlines will stop treating you like children and let you now use your electronic devices during take off and landing - oh, right. You never turned them off to begin with. FILL HER UP SEAL HER SHUT is back with results and a NEW edition. Can racists be sexy? YOU decide! Use your denim for good. Oh my gawsh! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 12min

Don't be SCURRED! It's just your mom and your other mom. Spooky, isn't it? Listen, you no talent piece of S**T! You need to work on your craft! We finally get to the TRUMPET FIGHT that so many of you pointed us to. We read your comments on Tapatio vs Cholula, Lou Reed vs Jodeci and the ICP and whether or not they love God. We revisit some of our favorite scary movie moments and Tom auditions to do voice over work for movie trailers. We're back to FILLING HER UP AND SEALING HER SHUT - super creepy edition. Who will you fill? Be VERY careful listening to this episode because it is VERY scary! Dump Cakes.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 8min

It sure is getting cool out there. Maybe you should add a layer of denim to your wardrobe. Music is so important to so many of us that is why we totally understand the plight of the juggalo. A juggalo is man or woman or person who wears makeup and does PCP and also cooks fried chicken. When you buy a ticket abroad - buy it for the correct country. Otherwise, you might end up visiting Christina on accident. Tommy took someone to Spain and it wasn't Tina! Listen closely to find out who and why. "Lou Reed died. Who cares" - Tom "Lou Reed influenced everything. Even my farts" - Christina. We debate who really left a mark on music, Lou Reed or Jodeci. Get that jean jacket ready!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 18min

Who's house? Your Mom's House. That's right. A WYR is read on another podcast but they don't want to credit their mothers? That's okay. You know who designed that Xmas WYR - your jeans. Shout out to David Choe and Asa Akira. We drop some NEW WYR's in your ears and read some of your emails. Dental Update for Tommy, A NEW case of foreign accent syndrome and Theo SPEAKS! Maybe dogs DO have brains. There's no such thing as Wednesday! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 12min

If you're a big dog how about you play with dogs your size, you stupid, selfish inconsiderate C**T. But if you're a dog you might not know where you are playing because DO DOGS EVEN HAVE BRAINS?!? We investigate. Loud, gay sex sounds and terrifying and hilarious. Since we didn't get you the SF Bonus ep, we give it to you here! Groan more! A big, BURNING Dental Update will have you smiling wide and this time we get TOP DOG and CHARO on ONE call. Can you believe your wiping luck? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 17min

DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of course. Brown Talk? You know this, man. BIKES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 4min