The Kind of Man a Bullied Boy Becomes

When Giulia Lukach had her first manic episode, it seemed to come out of nowhere. She was in her late twenties, and had been married to her husband, Mark, for three years. “For him it was just so new because I’ve always been the happy girl,” Giulia told Anna in an interview in 2015. Her psychosis was dark and intense.“ The only thing she could talk about was the devil and that she needed to protect the world because the devil was inside her,” Mark said in their 2015 interview. In 2023, Mark and Giulia sat down with Anna again. In the intervening years, they had a second child, and after years without Giulia having a manic episode, they thought they were in the clear. “We had this quasi-pseudo-science theory that maybe by sharing our story with the world, that was becoming this like protective barrier,” Mark told Anna. In this episode, you’ll hear parts of the couple’s original 2015 conversation, and how their outlook has changed since, both in how they treat each other, and how they deal with the unknown. “I have been to war with myself and with my mind many times,” Giulia said, “knowing that my episodes can come at any moment – that's like high anxiety for me – and so I literally live in the moment now. I only live in today.” Also, side note: Will you be in New York City on Saturday, December 9th at 12:30pm? Come to a Death, Sex, & Money live event at Caveat, a cabaret on the Lower East Side, to celebrate the show’s run at WNYC. We’re calling it Four Interviews and a Funeral. Join Anna, the team, special guests, and dance along to live music. Tickets are available here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Nov 202336min

This fall, Tony! Toni! Toné! is on tour for the first time in twenty years. Raphael Saadiq's career took off as a member of the R&B trio —a group whose music taught Anna, a pre-teen at the time, a thing or two about romance and sexiness. Raphael left the group in the mid-'90s, launching a successful solo career and co-writing and producing music with everyone from Solange and Mary J. Blige to John Legend and D'Angelo.  This week, we revisit Anna’s 2019 conversation with Raphael about how he's dealt with family deaths over the years, paying off his studio, and what his love life looks like today, in his 50s.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Nov 202330min

Dr. Bonnie Chen is no stranger to grief. The majority of her patients are facing a terminal illness and, as a palliative care doctor, her job is to help ease their symptoms. “It's a different kind of satisfaction than being able to fix someone or cure someone,” Bonnie told Anna, and she found pride in being able to offer comfort and have hard conversations about pain and about death, “I just always cherished that moment.”  And then, in the summer of 2022 her 16-month old son, Benji, died suddenly, and Bonnie found herself thrust on the other side of the medical system, and bowled over by her own deep grief. In this episode, Bonnie talks about how Benji’s death has changed the way she thinks about her job and how she talks to patients. Read an essay Bonnie wrote for The San Francisco Chronicle titled, “As a doctor, I thought I was familiar with death. Until it came for my son.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Nov 202331min

Albert and Sue Sommers met, fell in love and got married in their 40s. Albert is a rancher whose family has worked the same land in Pinedale, Wyoming for over 100 years, and Sue is a writer and multimedia artist who grew up in New Jersey. Since they married later in life and don’t have kids, that raised big questions about what would happen to Albert’s family ranch once they were gone.  Ranching is a tough business, and the Sommers family land is in a part of Wyoming where property values have soared as very wealthy people have moved in. That increases development pressure to turn that land into cash. In 2010, Albert and his family decided on a different, novel path that both preserved the Sommers’ family land from development and enabled them to pass the business to a young neighbor who’s no relation.  Albert and Sue tell Anna about how they got together and took on these big family decisions, and despite their offering differing opinions, how they “continue the conversation.”    Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on  Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Okt 202340min

This week, we are very excited to introduce you all to one of our favorite podcasts: Heavyweight, hosted by Jonathan Goldstein. First, Jonathan chats with Anna about the art of asking difficult questions, why he loves awkward phone calls, and the emotional power of deadlines. Then, we're playing the first episode of Heavyweight’s new season. In it, Jonathan finds out his childhood best friend is dying, and though they haven't spoken in years, Jonathan and Lenny begin nightly phone calls.  New episodes of Heavyweight are available every Thursday through the end of the year — listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Okt 202351min

The filmmaker behind HBO’s How To with John Wilson shares how his hobbies, like checking Craigslist ads obsessively, make him feel more deeply connected. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Okt 202326min

Over the past 20 years, Adonis Williams has moved thousands of people in and out of New York City. With each move, he catches a glimpse of a life in transition.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Okt 202333min

Anna and Ellen Burstyn check in 9 years after they first spoke. Ellen talks about the relationships that make up her life in this moment, her dog, and finding novelty in the everyday. You can listen to the original interview here.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Sep 202321min