635 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Mind if we burp? After Chipotle? And suckin stuff? Well we've got that and more for you. Here's something we'd like to know - what exactly is Plies saying? We try to solve the mysteries of this modern day philosopher.  Plus does a communist from a small island have the tools to identify a sex toy? We have differing opinions on this one. Will you side with the right Mommy!? Maybe if you're having troubles motivating yourself you keep it to yourself OR just go ahead and post every day how everyone is out to get you and everything is a battle and FIGHT! Fight things and people that aren't even there. That seems awfully stable of you.  You have the Jeans, you just gotta learn how to wear them.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Jan 20151h 48min

J-J-J-J-Jeans Unit! This is a very special episode. In addition to being packed with content and the introduction of a new, amazing caller, we here at Your Mom's House are very proud to announce that the Main Mommy, Christina Pazsitzky (PaJeanSky) has released a NEW album! Man of the Year is Christina's second album and is now available everywhere. Be sure to get a copy so that her jeans reach higher, tigher levels! Plus the moms get down and talk about Tommy letting Christina do (and say) dumb things. Is it his fault?!? Tina worked out HARD this week. Is cross training fitness not a match for her? Tommy is in LOVE with another crime show. This one is extra murdery and we break it down for you. Plus "Uncle Bill" whom we have been wanting to have on the show for years is finally here. All we can say about that is - you're not ready.  DENIM! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Jan 20151h 51min

Oh jeans it's here! Your first NEW momisode of the NEW year. This one really delivers. Maybe it's us, maybe it's these jeans. We give you modern day philosopher, Plies. Tina has trouble deciphering his sounds, but once she gets it, she GETS it.  Plus we try to figure out what's up with Austin Uber drivers and all the different browns we had there.  Is there anything Steven Seagal doesn't know? Well, uh, that's a trick question. We jam out to a song that'll blow your mind. CP was inspired and now you'll be too. Raise a pair of pants up for this one!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Jan 20151h 41min

What is love? When you've been someone long enough that you can say, "That's stupid of you," and then they respond, "Then I'm stupid. Let me be stupid!" That's true love. It's real contempt under a thin layer of decency that says, "I know I have to live with you."  When people have been together more than 50 years it can be quite colorfully spoken.  A fun game you can play with your significant other is ask strangers how old they think your partner is and then brace yourself when they (hopefully) guess FAR older. It's a real HOOT. Plus Tom hung out with an older man in a sauna. Did it get weird? Well, they covered cannibalism, prostitution and drugs. So it gets fun.  The brown detectives may have solved an age old mystery. Maybe it will prevent future loose stools. We'll see. Jeans, this is the final episode of 2014. Let's promise each other one thing, next year, even HIGHER! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Des 20141h 29min

It's that time of year again - Baby Jesus has been born and there are great songs and hopefully wonderful gifts unless you're poor (yuck).  We, as always, give back to the little Mommies. And this time we really deliver. Unwrap the paper and take in some Shane Lee. That's right the internet sensation who "teaches" vocal lessons is now in the DOME! He does impressions, requests and, well, whatever he feels like saying. It's awesome and it's here. Plus your two mothers have some wonderful clips including NEW (is that possible) talents that Steven Segal has - like God? (Actually, YES).  And what's a better gift than breakin down some brown with Top Dog. Rejoice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Des 20141h 29min

A man's desire to call out to a woman is so strong that it can overwhelm his own mental illness. Literally, the pieces that are missing in his brain will come together for a moment if that moment means sexual release.  Farts. This episode has them. From both mommies. Will you eat what we fart on? Plus Garth meets Meeeh, meets more melodies. It's creepy, weird and wonderful all at the same time. Guys should cover their nipples, You BETTER wash your nuts and your other stinky parts (especially if you want someone going in there).  And we talk family - and what is a reasonable amount of time to spend with them - Minutes? Get your festive jeans on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Des 20141h 39min

Yooooo! If you spend time overseas be careful! You could get AIDS. From a towel. Especially if a lot of dudes drop their stuff in that towel, ya feel me? Pat Robertson is a national treasure. While some look to him for spiritual leadership, we find him to have his finger on the pulse of what's funny and this guy is hilarious.  Plus we have some new songs and we have to admit, they are DADGUM GOOD! Can we teach you how to sing? Yes. BEATBOX? You betcha! AND we got that Chris Gaines music that you know you wanna hear.  Would you mind pulling your jeans a little higher? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Des 20141h 31min

Are ya'll ready for some slick stuff? Cool stuff? NEAT stuff? What about RAW stuff? Well, you're gonna get it cause we're breaking down these walls between us and we like that! Are you done wiping the vomit from the rim of your mouth? Good. Now get ready to puke again when Garth Brooks speaks and is genuine about "having a conversation" with you.  We get "Country" on this one, but it isn't all bad. We actually like some of your backwoods, incestuous anthems. Plus Theo must face the fact that he's named after an accused serial rapists TV son. And that ain't gonna fly, Jack! We must give him a NEW name OR can we simply call him by his BIRTH NAME?!?! You mean he has one? Yup.  This episode is LOADED. Jeans UP!!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Des 20141h 41min