A Depressive Episode

After two looooong and hellish weeks, I have risen from the depressive hole I’ve been stuck in. Weeks of endless rumination, causeless exhaustion, an unfamiliar flavor of hopelessness, an inability to access my real personality or a genuine laugh, and what felt like failing at everything - from my personal relationships to my job and everything in between.

When you’re in a depressive episode, it can feel like time stands still… and you wonder if you’ll ever feel like yourself again. Basics like showering feel next to impossible, and the distance between your bed and the front door feels miles long. And even though the fog has temporarily lifted, and I’m so gratefull to feel like me again, I know my depression will kick in again one day - maybe soon, maybe not - and that truth is hard to accept.

Coming back to life after a depressive episode can feel defeating – to put it lightly. There’s the endless unanswered emails, piles of laundry, missed calls, text messages you haven't responded to, plans you’ve canceled, and friendships you haven’t tended to in weeks… or months. You feel inescapably behind on, well, everything… and the mountain of catch-up you have to climb feels steep as hell. How do you explain to people why you’ve avoided them? How do you make it up to your family members? And beyond that, how do you try to act like yourself when you don’t feel like yourself?

So since I’m freshly on the other side…for now…I thought we should talk about it. Thanks for always being here to listen ❤️

For more about the podcast and my life, you can find me: https://www.instagram.com/jadeiovine/

Executive Producer Catherine Law

Audio Engineer Brandon Dickert

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