The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything

The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why? Why do gamblers double down when they should walk away? Why do we check our phones 58 times a day? Why do people micromanage their partners and get confused when they become distant? We are all suckers for the illusion of control. We are convinced that our meddling is needed to achieve our desired outcome. Sadly this misses the important fact that we are causing all our problems. The episode covers all sorts of personal problems from addictions to relationships, investing to anger and how control is at the heart of our problems. Whether you are high on neuroticism or curious about how the mind works we have a tonne of good stuff: Recognize your "control triggers" – situations where your grip tightens and makes things worse Practice intentional surrendering in low-stakes situations to build your letting-go muscles Replace control with curiosity by asking "What happens if I don't try to fix this?" Learn to stop wrestling with life and start dancing with it. Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Related Episodes 5 Science-backed ways to stop disappointing yourself - Spotify - Apple The Psychology of Mistakes - 7 types of lazy thinking - Spotify - Apple 4 Hidden fears that sabotage your life - and what to do about them - Spotify - Apple Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Why Smart People Make Dumb Decisions 00:30 The Science of Control 02:00 Personal Story: The Quad Bike Incident 05:51 The Illusion of Control 07:02 Addiction and Control 09:03 Reactance Theory: Why We Rebel 10:14 Attachment Styles and Control in Relationships 12:32 Paradoxical Intentions: Embracing the Opposite 15:30 Understanding and Managing Anger 18:43 Quieting the Default Mode Network 20:18 The Joy of Surrender 21:09 Show Updates: Embracing Change 22:58 The New Show Concept: The Psychology of Everything 25:25 The Importance of Growth and Change 26:03 Final Thoughts on Control and Surrender Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episoder(503)

7 Weird Life-Changing Skills that are Strange to Work On

7 Weird Life-Changing Skills that are Strange to Work On

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Why Having a Backup Plan Is Making You Fail - Burn the boats with Matt Higgins

Why Having a Backup Plan Is Making You Fail - Burn the boats with Matt Higgins

In 1519, Hernán Cortés landed in Mexico and promptly set fire to his own fleet. By any conventional measure of military logistics, this seems profoundly counterproductive. It wasn't. Matt Higgins — S...

13 Mar 44min

Why You Have Great Ideas but Never Actually Do Anything With Them

Why You Have Great Ideas but Never Actually Do Anything With Them

We are spectacularly good at having ideas and remarkably reluctant to do anything with them. It turns out that the distance between "I've got it!" and "here it is" is not a step but a rather long, oc...

10 Mar 22min

You Didn't Choose Your Attachment Style, but Here's How You Can Change It - With Jessica Baum

You Didn't Choose Your Attachment Style, but Here's How You Can Change It - With Jessica Baum

Most people think their relationship problems are about the other person. They're not — they're about an 18-month-old version of you who learned the only way to survive. In this episode, psychotherap...

6 Mar 53min

From Reactance to Resilience: How to manage psychological triggers and create freedom

From Reactance to Resilience: How to manage psychological triggers and create freedom

Most anger isn’t about the thing. It’s about what the thing means: “Someone just messed with my control.” When your expectations get violated... plans change,d a process breaks, a person does someth...

3 Mar 24min

How To Train Your Mind: The surprising benefits of play

How To Train Your Mind: The surprising benefits of play

Turns out you don't learn faster when you're stressed, you learn faster when you're happy! So let's talk about treating your brain like a friend, not a factory worker. Muscles respond to stress with ...

24 Feb 23min

The Weird Psychology of Communication, Self-control, and Gossip: What evolution teaches us about communicating your needs clearly

The Weird Psychology of Communication, Self-control, and Gossip: What evolution teaches us about communicating your needs clearly

In the noble quest to understand our minds, today we take a new angle. We track how grunts turned into gossip, myths, and the weird human habit of blushing when we screw up. You’ll see why your brai...

17 Feb 39min

Hidden Potential: The Psychology of self-sabotage and changing what's possible - Heather Moyse (2x Olympic Gold)

Hidden Potential: The Psychology of self-sabotage and changing what's possible - Heather Moyse (2x Olympic Gold)

We all love the idea of “potential” until it quietly turns into pressure, guilt, and a weird fear of actually trying. Heather Moyse didn’t start professional sport until 27 and still became a double ...

13 Feb 53min

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