If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy
Modern Love5 Mar 2025

If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy

When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite the shame she felt, she got a divorce.

In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center. From working in health care during the pandemic to building a family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of what she thought she wanted.

Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next winter.

This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame Over Divorce?

Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times

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Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.


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