The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mar

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Episoder(2681)

Thursday, Mar. 15, 2018

Thursday, Mar. 15, 2018

Florida is a great state to be a gun owner. For years, it has been a laboratory of sorts for the National Rifle Association — it’s the state that invented the concealed-carry permit. Gun control proponents had started to resign themselves to the fact that they might never pass any laws. Then came Parkland.Guest: Patricia Mazzei, the Miami bureau chief for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Mar 201824min

Wednesday, Mar. 14, 2018

Wednesday, Mar. 14, 2018

Rex Tillerson’s relationship with President Trump was rocky from the start. But no one was more surprised than Mr. Tillerson when he was fired as secretary of state on Tuesday. Mr. Tillerson was the most persistent advocate of opening diplomatic channels with North Korea, a position that put him publicly at odds with his boss. As Mr. Trump prepares to meet Kim Jong-un, the North’s leader, we talk to the man who came closest to a deal with Pyongyang about what the current administration can learn from previous attempts. Guests: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The New York Times; William Perry, a former secretary of defense and one of the few senior U.S. officials to have negotiated directly with the North Koreans. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Mar 201822min

Tuesday, Mar. 13, 2018

Tuesday, Mar. 13, 2018

With the prominent opposition leader Leopoldo López under house arrest, Venezuela thought its loudest political prisoner had finally been silenced. But he refused to buckle, even facing the prospect of going back to prison. Here’s the second part of Mr. López’s story. Guest: Wil S. Hylton, a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Mar 201826min

Monday, Mar. 12, 2018

Monday, Mar. 12, 2018

With Venezuela in crisis, its most vocal opposition leader, Leopoldo López, is under house arrest, unable to act. What happens if he does? Guest: Wil S. Hylton, a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Mar 201828min

Friday, Mar. 9, 2018

Friday, Mar. 9, 2018

Hush money. Catch-and-kill deals. The threat of blackmail. An elaborate system has developed to silence women who level accusations against powerful men. One of those women is Stephanie Clifford, a pornographic actress who claims to have had an affair with Donald J. Trump. Guest: Jim Rutenberg, The New York Times’s media columnist. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Mar 201822min

Thursday, Mar. 8, 2018

Thursday, Mar. 8, 2018

In announcing new protections on steel and aluminum imports, President Trump said he was acting in the interest of national security. But could the real threat be the tariffs themselves? Guest: Peter S. Goodman, an economics correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Mar 201826min

Wednesday, Mar. 7, 2018

Wednesday, Mar. 7, 2018

South Korea says that the North is willing to talk about giving up its atomic arsenal. What happened to the threat of nuclear war? Guest: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Mar 201820min

Tuesday, Mar. 6, 2018

Tuesday, Mar. 6, 2018

The New York Times has a new five-part podcast series that tries to solve a real-life problem with a surprising story. So today, instead of or usual show, we offer “Change Agent,” hosted by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of “The Power of Habit.” Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Mar 201828min

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