The Ten-Things Podcast30 Jan 2023

He Needs To Decompress On A Regular Bases

CONTACT DAVID FOR COMMENTS & QUESTIONS: davidhiggtx@gmail.com

He Needs To Decompress On A Regular Basis

- When we use the term “decompress” we're talking about “changing gears” or transitioning from one focus to another.
- Men will do this at different speeds and thoroughness.
- When a guy has been focused on work, or a project, all day, he will need to change gears before being free to engage with his family without distractions.
- It’s not uncommon for a guy to carry work home with him, either in an active way (front of mind) or in a passive way (back of mind).
- If there is a problem or challenge facing him at work, he can easily be “stewing” on that issue on his way home and carry it with him as he begins interacting with his family. THIS IS VERY COMMON.
- This means that he is there, physically, but not there, mentally, or emotionally.
- Many women can easily move (transition) from one aspect of life to another without missing a beat. Most men can’t. They will often make the transition physically, but not mentally. “You’re here, but you’re not here!”
- This can also be true when dealing with extended family if there is unresolved conflict from his past. (A visit with family can stir up emotions and thoughts related to the unresolved conflict which can dominate his thoughts much as issues from work can.
- He might be sluggish or slow to put those thoughts away and be “present” with you because of his lack of experience with making the transition.
- This is why some guys need/want a few minutes of “downtime” when they get home to read the newspaper, watch the news, check email, or do other seemingly unrelated activities before actively engaging with the family. This almost always generates conflict at home.

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