The Mental Load27 Jun 2024

Weaponized Incompetence - Hot Take

The mental load and weaponized incompetence.

In this hot take, Katlynn discusses what weaponized incompetence looks like after women have been gone for a short or extended period of time from their homes.

When we leave our home whether to travel for work or for time away for a little bit of self care, it's unfair to come home to a messy house and kids that are completely off schedule.

Why is it that when we're out of town our husbands get to parent like they're in survival mode? But when we're home alone for anything length of time, we're failures if we aren't maintaining the standards.

Here's they hypothesis: women know they will be judged on the state of their house and parenting when they have to do it solo whereas men don't know they have the privilege of being free from that judgement.

Is it nature or nurture? Probably a bit of both when it comes to housekeeping. Men weren't raised to care about it and they may also come from households where that wasn't the vibe or priority. But, the thing is, if your partner has expressed how much they need the household to be maintained in order to move smoothly throughout their day and you simply choose not to do it? That's weaponized incompetence. As adults we are all capable of learning; we do it all the time in our jobs, so by you opting out of learning how to support your partner, that's a clear sign of opting out of supporting them.

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Episoder(43)

Feeling judged and the mental load

When men judge women for the mental load and how we choose to handle it.In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why sometimes as mothers, we might feel judged by our partners for the way we parent in cert...

16 Jan 202515min

Kids Chores and the Mental Load

How do kids' chores impact the mental load for women?In this full-length episode, we discuss various ways that getting kids to pitch in and do chores around the house, when managed differently between...

10 Jan 20251h 6min

Why Re-Delegating Chores to Kids Creates Mental Load

When husbands pass chores off to their kids it creates more mental load for women. In today's hot take, Katlynn discusses why passing the buck on chores might seem helpful and like husband's are teach...

19 Des 20249min

No Excuses - The Mental Load of Daily Chores

The mental load of daily responsibilities outweighs occasional maintenance chores.In this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how, when men and women are raised differently, it creates a large gap in h...

12 Des 202411min

The Sound of Silence - I Need Help!

How to immediately lighten the mental loadIn this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how to identify when you're overwhelmed by the mental load and how to immediately get relief.Bodily cues can tell u...

27 Nov 202413min

Just Lower Your Standards

Why men have the perception that women have standards that are "too high" and how it contributes to the mental load. We've all been in the situation before where we ask our husbands to do something. I...

14 Nov 202440min

Medical Mental Load

Why women still carry the mental load when it comes to our children's healthcare. In this episode, we break down why women still carry a majority of the mental load when it comes to our kids and their...

7 Nov 20241h 2min

Showing Support for the Mental Load

We don't want to ask for help with the mental load. Something about saying "can you help me with..." or "thanks for helping me with..." just grates on me. Most likely because it implies that I own the...

25 Jul 202413min