Episode 67 - Danielle Ellis: Begin to Trust Yourself

This week, Samantha talks with blogger Danielle Ellis her journey of growth and healing. Danielle is a mother of two daughters who delves into her own childhood in this episode. She explains what it was like for her growing up with a mother who wasn't present, and father who wasn't around, and an abusive stepfather. She ran away at 18 years old and joined the military to find some stability in her life.

How did she come to realize that she needed therapy and healing in her life? It took a tumultuous second half of a 19 year marriage and finally coming to terms with the unhealthy boundaries that were in place and with her own ultra-independence. The struggle within herself as this process played itself out was hard. She needed to get in touch with her inner child; the little girl who never felt like she was enough. This caused her to feel like she was solely responsible for keeping the family together. The breaking point came when her daughter was in a mental health assessment at school and answered "yes" to being anxious, but said that she only felt anxiety at home. This led to changes in boundaries and realizing that it wasn't appropriate for her to keep looking at other people's situations and thinking, "it's not that bad."

Danielle believes that God doesn't intend for anybody to be abused in life. But, even though she was abused, she understands that she has a redemption story in Christ. People also need to understand that "spiritual abuse" is a real thing and that people can manipulate or misunderstand God's word. There are times when Pastoral Counseling just isn't enough and that seeking professional therapy is, by far, the best possible course. She says that wholeness is often missing from the conversation in religious circles.

So, why is Danielle so open and vulnerable in the telling of her story? Her story, and other people's stories, when told appropriately, help other people feel connected. They can understand that they're not the only ones that have gone through hardships, even if our stories aren't all the same. She has found a way, as we all should, to share her story as honestly as possible in a non-judgmental way. It is in dealing with the "in-between stuff" where she has found that she began to trust herself and "follow the breadcrumbs."

There's lots of wisdom in Danielle's words and her redemption story is one of growth and healing, so listen in as Samantha and Danielle "Flush It Out!"

Read more of Danielle's work at refreshingwords.medium.com