The Emotional (and Sometimes Chaotic) Life of Teenagers with Dr. Lisa Damour

Calling all parents of adolescents, or those of you who are about to have adolescents in your midst–if you’ve been feeling like you’re not sure what is normal in the emotional landscape of teenagers, we’re here to help. Face it—teenagers are literally in the epicenter of chaos–and because they live in our homes, sometimes it bleeds into our lives too. These kids are in developmental flux and there’s so much on them with school work, keeping up grades, extracurricular activities, friends (not to mention friend drama), anxiety about college—it’s a lot. But we can find ways to stand by them in their emotions, without getting too overcome with our own–and help them manage all this chaos in a way that serves them, and serves the whole family. Our guest this week is the perfect breath of calm in the midst of teen emotional chaos–she’s lived it, she studies it and she practices in it. Dr. Lisa Damour is a New York Times bestselling author who has written a book on the subject called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, in addition to being an expert on adolescent development and family mental health. She and Jen hit the high points of:

• The seven developmental tasks that teenagers face
• Why the emotional world of teenagers is very different than during any other time in their life, and how they navigate emotions and how they express them
• How to know when a teenager is having a mental health crisis or if it’s just a teenager being a teenager
• How to manage a meltdown in nine steps

Dr. Lisa gives us actionable tools to help understand teenagers and gently guide them as they wade through the somewhat chaotic season of adolescence.

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Thought-Provoking Quotes:

“There is so much change in an incredibly short period of time. There are so many demands on that teenager in terms of how they're gonna grow, what is gonna be different between when they were 11 to 18. I mean, those are not the same people” - Dr. Lisa Damour

“Teenagers make choices that can have a very dramatic impact on what's available to them in young adulthood, in terms of their options” - Dr. Lisa Damour

"I think so often when we think we're listening, we're not listening. We're waiting for [our teenager] to pause so that we can make a suggestion. That's not listening." - Dr. Lisa Damour

"Once your kid is into adolescence and is more autonomous and wanting more independence, and they come in close and ask for support--savor it and set your watch by the fact that it is gonna end probably within the next 30 seconds and it's not gonna end in a nice way." - Dr. Lisa Damour

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Untangled by Dr. Lisa Damour

Under Pressure by Dr. Lisa Damour

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour

The Ask Lisa Podcast

The Little Mermaid

Dr. Damour’s Bookmarks

Guest’s Links

Dr. Damour’s website

Dr. Damour’s Instagram

Dr. Damour’s ...