No Such Thing As Good or Bad Kids: Dr. Shefali on Conscious Parenting

Title: No Such Thing As Good or Bad Kids: Dr. Shefali on Conscious Parenting

Description:

Today, we’re taking a trip into the archives to revisit a 2023 episode with renowned clinical psychologist and listener favorite, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, where we dove into the deeply-layered topic of conscious parenting. Those of us in the middle of life, still parenting kids at home, adjusting to parenting adult children who just launched out into the world. or in any season of the parenting journey, really, will find much to learn as we look back (and forward) at our parenting patterns.

Highlights from this convo include:

• Defining conscious parenting and the three stages of the parenting map
• Debunking the notion that as parents we are supposed to create happy, perfect superhumans by following traditional parenting rules
• Dismissing the notion that there are good kids and bad kids—and how to avoid using these labels
• Revealing the five ego patterns that parents might not even realize inform their quest to raise amazing children
• The three reasons why children act out or misbehave and how you can learn not to shame them for it
• The results of over-parenting and how it shows up in your adult children
• How it’s never too late to become a mindful parent

Segments:

Bless and Release: Avoiding difficult conversations

Thought-provoking Quotes:

The evolution of the planet depends on the evolution of the parent. – Dr. Shefali

Everyone wants a new tomorrow. But what we don’t realize is that a new future comes with an absolute willingness to disrupt the past. – Dr. Shefali

There is no such thing as a good kid or a bad kid. So, what kind of kids are there? Just kids – just humans who are terribly flawed like we are, and terribly, but amazingly blissful like we are. They’re just this unique combo and they defy labels. – Dr. Shefali

Punishment, shaming, blaming is never sustainable. I cannot tell you how many times a day I tell parents, ‘Listen, you appear to get control in the moment, but long term, it’s going to be unforgiving.’ – Dr. Shefali

How do we constantly show our presence [to our adult children]? Unequivocal cheerleading. ‘I’m thinking of you. I miss you. I’m remembering you. I adore you.’ Let them know they are on your mind but not involved in their day-to-day. – Dr. Shefali

When the ego crumbles, proportionately the heart expands, and you then are just this heart-centered being able to connect to the other people in a very attuned, compassionate, genuine way. And your children will feel it. – Dr. Shefali

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary - https://amzn.to/4aNAPd8

The Parenting Map by Dr. Shefali Tsabary - https://amzn.to/3EER148

Dr. Shefali’s previous interview on For the Love:Releasing The Fantasy of “The Good Girl” with Dr. Shefali Tsabary - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-35/releasing-the-fantasy-of-the-good-girl-with-dr-shefali-tsabary/

Guest’s Links:

Dr. Shefali’s website - https://www.drshefali.com/

Dr. Shefali’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali

Dr. Shefali’s Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/doctorshefali