How to leave an abusive relationship- Episode #55

Let me start by saying I am proud of you for making this brave step!

Before you leave ask yourself this question- Is this relationship worth saving? Now hear me out! Is it that your partner is violent or upsetting when he/she is drinking/using drugs? Are they a bully and don't realize it? Have you gone through counseling to resolve the issue? I hate for relationships to end of course abuse is unacceptable. These are factors to consider. My first thought is to leave but for some, they wish to see if they can make it work.

Remember this, you can not make this person your project to "fix". They have free will. If you/friends/family have pointed out the negative behavior and they don't wish to change there is your answer. * Leaving while your partner isn't home or going to be gone for a long time. * Alerting work/school about your situation. * Gather important papers. If you are concerned your partner will notice these are gone make copies of the original and leave the copies! * History of the violence- including pictures and note the dates * Make a plan to send these to a P.O. Box that your partner does not know about or give to a trusted friend/family member. * Set up a new email address or make sure you change your passwords (change to an affirmation! Iam$trong, Iamenough). * Open a bank account prior to leaving if you can. Personally, I squirreled away $25.00 over many months to open one before I left my abuser. I had the statements going to my new address at my sister's house. Now, you can have them come electronically so your abuser won't know. * If you have a place to go, start taking things to your new digs. These are things that will go unnoticed, such as seasonal clothing, mementos, toys/games for the kids, extra food, bedding/towels, anything that you can think of that won't be missed. Let's say it's "Leave time", here are some things to consider, now this should not be taken lightly and I would also suggest that you reach out to law enforcement and/or a Women's shelter for tips, suggestions, and other resources. For the full blog post for these tips visit my blog here- https://hopewhentherewasnone.blogspot.com/2019/01/tips-for-leaving-your-abuser.html Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse. This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors. You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1 Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone Find help and info here- https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.domesticshelters.org/ https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255