Keeping yourself safe during the holidays- Episode #97

There are many including myself that have experienced the fear of an abusive relationship. This isn't a pretty family portrait to look at. What can you do? Suggestions to keep 'YOU" safe during the holidays. Family vacations, holidays, and gatherings with friends and family are supposed to be joyous and happy but if you are a victim of abuse it can be a nightmare.

You may have heightened stressors as you potentially experience any of these:

Financial issues- lack of funds from overspending, job loss, or layoff.

Getting together with family- While normally can be wonderful there could be pressures or conflict on top of dealing with your abuser.

Increased alcohol/drug use- It is not uncommon for the usage of these to be more abundant.

Vacation- Your partner or loved one may be off for an extended time causing more heated exchanges.

What can you do?!

1) Keep your phone charged at all times. Make sure you have trusted contacts on speed dial. This could be:

911 in the States for immediate assistance- Teach your children this number too!

Family or Friend- These can help pull you out of a heated situation or act as a witness. Consider using a "Safeword" such as Cookies or Eggnog for a text or while you are on the phone. This can alert the person that you need help NOW.

Women's shelter

The Hotline - 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) En Español

Safe Horizon -1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

NCADV - Resources page for National and International help

2) Along with the safe word tip, if you have a good relationship with your neighbor think about having a certain color light that can be lit when if you need assistance. If they feel comfortable they may ring the doorbell or knock to check. They could also call the police for you to do a wellness check.

3) Download a safety app such as - Circle of 6

4) If you are meeting your abuser for a visitation exchange contact a friend to go with you. If you can not find a friend, make sure this is done either in the daylight or in a public well-lit area. Contact your local police department and give them the "Cliff note" version of your situation and ask if they can meet for the exchange. They are happy to assist with this and will give you instructions on how to handle the situation.

5) If you are still with your abuser make sure you have an escape plan. Don't back yourself into a corner or room without a window.

6) Contact your local shelter for a Safety plan. You may not be leaving this second but empower yourself with knowledge of how to handle an escalated situation.

7) Consider having a "Go bag" ready just in case. You may want to keep this bag in an inconspicuous place or at a trusted friend's home. In this bag, you will have an extra pair of clothes, a 7 to 10 day supply of medication, extra keys to the house/car, snacks, a cell phone charger, and spare change.

Be safe! Know you are not alone in your struggle.