191: When His Sexual Desire Goes Down as He Becomes Free From Pornography (and tools to rebuild your sexual relationship)

191: When His Sexual Desire Goes Down as He Becomes Free From Pornography (and tools to rebuild your sexual relationship)

Today we're talking about something couples rarely discuss: when a husband's interest in sex drops after he stops using porn.

For wives, this can feel very confusing and hurtful. After working hard to heal the relationship, it's painful when intimacy doesn't return as expected. She might wonder, "Doesn't he find me attractive? Is he really getting better?"

But lower sexual desire after recovery isn't always a bad sign. It's often part of a necessary reset in understanding healthy intimacy.

The drive for sex that was powered by fantasy starts to quiet down, creating space for real connection to grow.

Today I'll share five reasons why desire decreases during recovery and how couples can build a fulfilling sex life based on both people's needs, emotional safety, and genuine connection.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Episoder(240)

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

Oftentimes, a big part of the check-in conversation revolves around whether he was triggered to watch porn or not.. The problem is that if he was triggered that day, her hearing about it can cause a n...

10 Jun 202123min

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

Healing from porn addiction and betrayal trauma can have overwhelming moments that can feel dark and lonely. But there is hope if you have one particular resource or tool to help you through those mom...

3 Jun 202122min

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

How do you know if his desire for sex is rooted in pornography addiction or if it’s coming from a healthy place? Knowing this makes all the difference when it comes to reintegrating sex back into the ...

27 Mai 202122min

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Sometimes couples reach a stalemate when she thinks he's not doing enough to work on his pornography addiction and if he feels like no matter what he does it'll never be enough. There are a few differ...

20 Mai 202130min

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

Whenever there is a struggle with porn addiction, there's often dishonesty. And that is one of the most damaging elements to a marriage, but if you are going to eliminate it completely, you must under...

13 Mai 202122min

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The road to healing can feel completely overwhelming, so I wanted to break down the process to overcome pornography addiction into just 5 steps. If you focus on these core components, then you'll achi...

6 Mai 202129min

How to Have the Type of Conversation That Builds Connection

How to Have the Type of Conversation That Builds Connection

Most people want to feel connected to their partner after porn addiction, but the mechanics of how to do that can be tricky.. In this episode, I share with you what it actually looks like to build con...

23 Apr 202118min

Even The Worst Kind of Emotional Pain Can Be Resolved By Doing This

Even The Worst Kind of Emotional Pain Can Be Resolved By Doing This

Sometimes we go through some very difficult and painful experiences.. And that pain can seem to follow us around and get triggered unexpectedly when we are reminded of the past. The same is true for e...

16 Apr 202128min

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