Meet My First Boyfriend and All the Ways I F**cked It Up | 57

Shownotes

• The story behind the quasi-cheating incident that ended the relationship

• Why Ryan and Layla's first kiss went horribly wrong

• How to take full responsibility for your actions and impact on others

• Why Ryan showed up at the Stanford campus in a full-on chicken costume

• How radical love is different than self-sacrificing

• What Ryan and Layla learned from opening their relationship

Bio

Ryan Cheney is a therapist, seeker, and guide devoted to the process of inner transformation. Based in Austin, TX, he works with individuals and couples to uncover what stands in the way of lasting change – and how to meet those blocks with presence, compassion, and courage. His work is deeply rooted in Internal Family Systems and a profound curiosity about how people evolve.

Before turning his focus inward, Ryan was the founder of Raaka Chocolate, a Brooklyn-based bean-to-bar company built on transparency and ethical sourcing. But his truest calling lies in the inner landscapes: the quiet, tender spaces where real healing happens. His path has been shaped by deep inquiry, spiritual practice, and a love for the moments when people reconnect with the truth of who they are.

Ryan believes transformation doesn't have to be a battle – it can be a remembering. He's most alive when exploring the alchemy of change, the courage it requires, and the unexpected grace that can come when we stop striving and start listening.

Timestamps

00:01:16 - Guest introduction

00:06:02 - Ryan shares how he and Layla met

00:07:35 - Going from small and scared to big and free

00:07:59 - Where Layla was at in her life when she met Ryan

00:11:48 - Where Ryan was at in his life when he met Layla

00:12:31 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com

00:13:11 - Friendship turns into strong attraction

00:13:47 - Ryan describes he and Layla's first kiss

00:16:20 - Why the sex didn't initially work for Ryan

00:19:33 - Ryan learned to hold all parts of Layla

00:21:11 - Layla's first experience with somatic therapy

00:23:00 - Layla credits Ryan for being deeply present for her healing journey

00:24:33 - Unlock your deepest passion inside The Tantric Mastermind for Couples

00:26:00 - Layla's desire to find the real Tantra

00:27:19 - Ryan and Layla gave each other spiritual names

00:34:05 - Layla and Ryan discuss their experience with sexual healing

00:39:01 - Why we have to take full responsibility for our actions and impact on others

00:41:48 - How to be present with intensity and pain

00:41:57 - Discover MOOD™ Sex Magic

00:42:55 - Ryan and Layla drink MOOD SEX MAGIC

00:45:57 - The feedback Layla gave Ryan as their relationship ended

00:48:17 - Layla healed and opened her sexuality before healing and opening her heart

00:51:15 - Ryan shares what he learned from the end of the relationship

00:54:55 - Layla shares one of her favorite stories about Ryan

00:56:08 - How radical love is different than self-sacrificing

01:02:18 - Discover your most masculine confidence and presence with Men's Sexual Mastery

01:03:59 - Layla and Ryan share their experience with an open relationship

01:09:10 - Ryan shares what signaled the end for him

01:17:38 - What Layla learned from the end of the relationship

01:19:20 - What Ryan learned from the relationship

01:21:08 - One of the saddest parts of trauma

01:24:32 - Ryan's favorite parts of Layla from their relationship

01:27:41 - Conclusion