007-Buddhism in daily life - The forgiveness

In every relationship between people one day the question arises whether "one" can, must or should forgive the other person for his words or deeds.

Whoever gives it any thought at all, can.

Who thinks about it longer, who should.

Who does not feel comfortable in his skin, must even.

When it comes to forgiveness, many people find it very difficult, the grievance often sits deep, "one" is hit, the things burden us. But why is one hit, but only because one's own expectations were not met.

Of course, you can simply suppress the painful memory, bury it deep in your mind's palace. But does that really bring anything?

The Buddhist way is to pass over the painful situation with forbearance and generosity, because Buddhists know that the perceived reality is only a felt one, that this event could be viewed through a different filter, and thus a completely different result would emerge.

Easy to say, but sometimes hard to do. So how can we forgive?

Now, when someone asks us for forgiveness, "making peace" is not so difficult, after all, our counterpart has "jumped over" his own shadow in the process, has "accepted" the consequences of asking for forgiveness.

The closer we are to the person, the easier it is for us to forgive this person, for example, we forgive family members or spouses much more easily. With "strangers" it is much more difficult to practice forgiving.

It also often helps to "let the grass grow over the matter", as anger, rage or disappointment often fade quickly.

And don't forget, simply asking for forgiveness already eases our pain a lot, as we quickly feel "loved" again, no longer feel offside, no longer see the act as "malicious."

At the beginning of a grievance (shortly after) we often cannot understand why the other person hurt us, we then have to sort out our feelings first. It is when thoughts are constantly circling around the hurt or the person who inflicted it on us that the coping process is just beginning. Take your time, because time heals all wounds!

After a certain time, the willingness to forgive increases, because the pain has become smaller, the feelings have sorted themselves out.

Now it can help to put ourselves in the position of the person who hurt us. Why did he/she do it? What were the motivations? And also the question whether we ourselves have not done something similar before, that helps in the process of forgiving.

Then comes the moment when we have to let go, check off the slight and the wrong, otherwise the bad emotions will "eat us up", we also keep circling around the same thoughts.

Can you recognize your own need for harmony and finally find peace?

You should forgive the other person to spare yourself, to allow your ego to be at peace again. This is first about you, only secondarily about the other person. Because you can only live together with your environment properly if you rest in your center.

The way is the goal!

Mistakes can always be forgiven, if you have the courage to admit them.

- Bruce Lee - Sino-American actor - 1940 - 1973

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