138: Why You’re Obsessed with People Who Hurt You (And How to Finally Stop) With Nicole Vignola

138: Why You’re Obsessed with People Who Hurt You (And How to Finally Stop) With Nicole Vignola

Are you tired of replaying the same scenarios in your head, checking their socials, and wondering why you can’t let go—even when you know they’re wrong for you? In this episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, neuroscientist and author Nicole Vignola breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain when you’re stuck on someone who isn’t right for you. From the dopamine loops that keep you addicted to the anticipation of a text to the childhood patterns shaping your attachment style, we dig into the neuroscience of obsession and how to actually break the cycle. You’ll learn why your brain seeks intermittent rewards, how to interrupt obsessive loops, what the default mode network has to do with emotional spirals, and the role of self-compassion in rewiring your brain. Nicole also shares tools like cognitive reframing, dopamine redirection, and the physiological sigh to help regulate your nervous system and regain control. If you're stuck in a spiral post-breakup or can’t stop thinking about someone who isn’t showing up for you, this episode is your science-backed roadmap to let go for good. Want to dive deeper into this? Check out Nicole’s book Rewire, and don’t forget to subscribe to The Sabrina Zohar Show for more brain-based dating and relationship tools. MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can’t control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE! Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(230)

229: Stop Asking "Why Don't They Want Me?"

229: Stop Asking "Why Don't They Want Me?"

Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't he...

9 Okt 36min

228: You're Not Healing. You're Just Consuming Content…

228: You're Not Healing. You're Just Consuming Content…

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulati...

2 Okt 59min

227: How To Actually Handle A Breakup…

227: How To Actually Handle A Breakup…

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do durin...

25 Sep 30min

226: Do's And Don'ts For Dating And Relationships

226: Do's And Don'ts For Dating And Relationships

The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries a...

18 Sep 41min

225: Am I Too Late To Find Love? With Tamsen Fadal

225: Am I Too Late To Find Love? With Tamsen Fadal

This one is about feeling behind. The belief that you missed your window, that everyone else got the memo, that whatever you want is off the table now because of your age. We are answering the questio...

11 Sep 52min

224: Stop Asking Everyone But Yourself

224: Stop Asking Everyone But Yourself

You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into ...

8 Sep 39min

223: Things To Do And Not Do When Single

223: Things To Do And Not Do When Single

How do you actually get okay being alone? In part one of a three part series, Sabrina answers your questions about being single: how to stop wanting a relationship so badly, how to grieve a breakup or...

4 Sep 37min

222: How Do You Actually Choose Yourself?

222: How Do You Actually Choose Yourself?

What does loving yourself actually look like when it isn't bubble baths, face masks, or affirmations you don't believe? Sabrina breaks down the real difference between self-love and self-esteem, what ...

28 Aug 38min

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