How to Make Friends as an Adult | Danielle Bayard Jackson

Making friends as an adult can be so weird! In this episode, Erin and special guest Danielle Bayard Jackson dive into the sticky yet mega-important world of adult friendships. Danielle is a certified women's coach and friendship expert, and she's known for pairing research with real life to help women experience more joy in platonic relationships with other women. She’s become Bumble BFF's official spokesperson and has become a go-to source for the media as a guest on outlets like CBS NEWS, NBC News, and even daytime talk shows!

Danielle kicks off the episode with her story and her very nonlinear path of becoming a friendship expert. She’s so honest and vulnerable and reminds us just because she’s an expert doesn’t mean she’s perfect or that she was a nice girl in high school (spoiler, she wasn’t).

One cause of modern friendships becoming so weird is the shift to remote work. Work is where we spend most of our time, and that proximity automatically makes it the perfect place for friendships to form. However, without that in-person work culture, now more people than ever are feeling friendless.

The thing is, we all need friends! Just because we can go for periods of time killing it on our own doesn’t mean we should isolate ourselves 24/7, introverts and extroverts alike! Top tip: the more we are around our friends and make it normal to make new friends, the easier it gets. Knowing what qualities, values, and the time we are able to devote to our friendships, all things Danielle’s new book will help you master, are crucial to forming better relationships.

Men and women view their friendships differently, Danielle’s got the research receipts to prove it, and the ways in which men and women friends make new friends and like to spend time together are very not the same. For instance, women tend to see friends as siblings, and men tend to see friends as cousins. The intimacy is real!

Erin and Danielle then explore the sometimes awkward social norm of selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen, three different types of loneliness, and how to combat each. This first smash episode wraps with some #RealAdvice time!

Episode Outline:

0:30 Introduction & Danielle’s background

2:10 Rapid fire Q&A

3:25 Why Danielle switched careers

5:11 Being the shy/mean/popular girl in high school

7:03 How Danielle got out of teaching and into coaching

12:50 Is working from home killing our friendships?

16:22 Dunbar's Number

18:00 Making friends as a remote worker (or else you'll get weird)

19:00 Harvard 100-Year Study on Happiness

20:35 What are "quality" friendships?

21:42 Introverts vs....