When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily teams up with Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and trauma expert, to tackle one of the most common relationship challenges: when sex starts feeling like just another item on your to-do list. From exploring why intimacy can lose its spark to practical strategies for reigniting desire, this conversation gets to the heart of what happens when pleasure becomes obligation. We dive deep into the psychology behind sexual disconnection, examining how stress, routine, and unspoken resentments can transform what should be joyful into something that feels burdensome. Dr. Scott shares insights on nervous system regulation and how our bodies respond when we're overwhelmed, while Dr. Emily offers practical advice on communication, scheduling intimacy, and the importance of prioritizing pleasure throughout the week—not just in the bedroom. This episode addresses the reality that many couples face: mismatched libidos, the pressure to perform, and the challenge of maintaining sexual connection amid life's demands. We explore how to shift from duty-based sex to desire-driven intimacy, the role of variety and spontaneity in long-term relationships, and why "priming for pleasure" throughout the week is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - When Sex Becomes a Chore 03:00:00 - The Psychology of Sexual Obligation06:41:00 - Mismatched Libidos and Relationship Dynamics 08:26:00 - Breaking the Routine: Adding Variety and Play 11:07:00 - Communication vs. Avoidance in Sexual Relationships 15:38:00 - Priming for Pleasure Throughout the Week 18:06:00 - Scheduling Sex: Intentional vs. Spontaneous Intimacy 23:10:00 - From Duty to Desire: Practical Strategies 28:14:00 - Building Anticipation and Connection 30:04:00 - Redefining Sexual Success and Satisfaction Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner or just want to prevent sex from becoming routine, this episode offers compassionate guidance and actionable strategies for reclaiming the joy and connection that intimate relationships can provide. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

Episoder(1521)

Episode 295 - Walk of Shame

Episode 295 - Walk of Shame

We all have to do it, so we might as well know how to do it right. Today Emily drops five big tips for how to handle your next walk of shame. We then learn how to encourage your wife to fantasize, what gives Menace nightmares, and the Panty Dropper drink recipe. Plus, a new study shows men value love more than sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16 Sep 201154min

Episode 294 - Crazy Sex Accidents

Episode 294 - Crazy Sex Accidents

Whether it’s vaginal prolapses or the daily habits that cause erectile dysfunction, today we’re talking the craziest sex accidents you won’t believe. In more pleasant news, Emily helps a woman achieve her first 3 orgasms (listener got tips from the show), and a new book claims Sarah Palin gets around (not the library, ironically). Tune in to learn the top reason for divorce, how to plan a threesome, where to not hide your keys or guns, and why you shouldn’t shave and drive. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Sep 201154min

Episode 292 - Club Kiss

Episode 292 - Club Kiss

Emily’s intern went to a “play party” this weekend, and she gets into all the juicy details including her first romp in public. There’s good news about infidelity, and Iran has a hot new kind of sex-ed,. We find out why being a father may lower your testosterone, and why Emily won't be speaking at Menace's yet to be planned wedding. Taking a cue from her intern, Emily discusses her history with threesomes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Sep 201157min

Man Up Friday

Man Up Friday

Emily talks about what men should do to man up once and for all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Sep 201111min

Episode 290 - Hand Jobs 2

Episode 290 - Hand Jobs 2

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Sep 201154min

Episode 289 - Hand Jobs (1/2)

Episode 289 - Hand Jobs (1/2)

How does Emily loves Menace? Today she counts the ways and explains how to give the most amazing hand jobs on earth! Questions of the day include: Should you ‘thank your wank’? Does a Groupon deal belong on a date? We learn what lesbians want in bed, how to have sex with a virgin, and how to steer clear of indecent exposure. A bad date ends in handcuffs, a possible Miss Universe goes commando, and Cheaterville.com gets Jersey Shore's help. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Sep 201159min

Episode 288 - The Concept of Swinging

Episode 288 - The Concept of Swinging

Emily needs more guys in her dating rotation, all life decisions are driven by sex, Emily and Menace like to be dominated in bed, how to hang out with a co-worker without it being weird, do women prefer metro sexual or retro sexual men, how nice guys can finish first without being a jerk, Emily gets invited to a swingers party, why women are attracted to powerful men, What it really means when a girl says, "I don't want to sleep with you because I really like you", and Emily and Menace don't see eye-to-eye on the concept of swinging. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Sep 20111h 1min

Episode 287 - Get More Sex!

Episode 287 - Get More Sex!

No, it’s not an ad for hot local babes, although Emily and Menace do talk about live webcam girls today. More realistically, learn how to get your partner to have more sex, find out why your man might not want sex, and how to deal with marriage counseling and intimacy issues. Emily finally gets cable and shows off her FyreTV porn box, and Menace recaps a wild weekend after drunk tweeting. In the wide world of sex, a woman sues for sexless marriage, and a sperm donor has 150 kids. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Sep 201158min

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