Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Episoder(1521)

Episode 295 - Walk of Shame

Episode 295 - Walk of Shame

We all have to do it, so we might as well know how to do it right. Today Emily drops five big tips for how to handle your next walk of shame. We then learn how to encourage your wife to fantasize, what gives Menace nightmares, and the Panty Dropper drink recipe. Plus, a new study shows men value love more than sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16 Sep 201154min

Episode 294 - Crazy Sex Accidents

Episode 294 - Crazy Sex Accidents

Whether it’s vaginal prolapses or the daily habits that cause erectile dysfunction, today we’re talking the craziest sex accidents you won’t believe. In more pleasant news, Emily helps a woman achieve her first 3 orgasms (listener got tips from the show), and a new book claims Sarah Palin gets around (not the library, ironically). Tune in to learn the top reason for divorce, how to plan a threesome, where to not hide your keys or guns, and why you shouldn’t shave and drive. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Sep 201154min

Episode 292 - Club Kiss

Episode 292 - Club Kiss

Emily’s intern went to a “play party” this weekend, and she gets into all the juicy details including her first romp in public. There’s good news about infidelity, and Iran has a hot new kind of sex-ed,. We find out why being a father may lower your testosterone, and why Emily won't be speaking at Menace's yet to be planned wedding. Taking a cue from her intern, Emily discusses her history with threesomes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Sep 201157min

Man Up Friday

Man Up Friday

Emily talks about what men should do to man up once and for all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Sep 201111min

Episode 290 - Hand Jobs 2

Episode 290 - Hand Jobs 2

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Sep 201154min

Episode 289 - Hand Jobs (1/2)

Episode 289 - Hand Jobs (1/2)

How does Emily loves Menace? Today she counts the ways and explains how to give the most amazing hand jobs on earth! Questions of the day include: Should you ‘thank your wank’? Does a Groupon deal belong on a date? We learn what lesbians want in bed, how to have sex with a virgin, and how to steer clear of indecent exposure. A bad date ends in handcuffs, a possible Miss Universe goes commando, and Cheaterville.com gets Jersey Shore's help. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Sep 201159min

Episode 288 - The Concept of Swinging

Episode 288 - The Concept of Swinging

Emily needs more guys in her dating rotation, all life decisions are driven by sex, Emily and Menace like to be dominated in bed, how to hang out with a co-worker without it being weird, do women prefer metro sexual or retro sexual men, how nice guys can finish first without being a jerk, Emily gets invited to a swingers party, why women are attracted to powerful men, What it really means when a girl says, "I don't want to sleep with you because I really like you", and Emily and Menace don't see eye-to-eye on the concept of swinging. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Sep 20111h 1min

Episode 287 - Get More Sex!

Episode 287 - Get More Sex!

No, it’s not an ad for hot local babes, although Emily and Menace do talk about live webcam girls today. More realistically, learn how to get your partner to have more sex, find out why your man might not want sex, and how to deal with marriage counseling and intimacy issues. Emily finally gets cable and shows off her FyreTV porn box, and Menace recaps a wild weekend after drunk tweeting. In the wide world of sex, a woman sues for sexless marriage, and a sperm donor has 150 kids. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Sep 201158min

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