reclaiming your sexual agency after chronic objectification with dr. alexandra solomon

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on love, intimacy, and relationships, to discuss what it truly means to reconnect with our erotic selves and find grounding in genuine pleasure—whether we’re partnered or not. Together, we explore how cultural expectations, societal pressures, and internalized “scripts” can disconnect us from our own desires, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and even resentful toward intimacy. If you’ve ever felt a sense of “sexual blockage” or wondered if you were somehow disconnected from your erotic nature, this conversation is for you. Dr. Solomon and I discuss the experience of performing sexuality instead of enjoying it, the frustration of feeling like intimacy is something we do for others rather than for ourselves, and the harmful impact of constantly putting our own needs last.

We also touch on topics that reveal just how pervasive these struggles are:

• Dissociating during sex and the emotional distance it creates
• The pressure to “perform” sexually as a means of attracting or keeping a partner
• Dr. Solomon’s perspective on “the OnlyFans phenomenon” and the idea of “sex as self-harm”
• The impact of hardcore pornography on sites like PornHub, reinforcing damaging gendered expectations in intimate relationships

Whether you’ve felt disconnected from your body, struggled with resentment toward intimacy, or been wary of “divine feminine” programs that promise to heal you for a steep price, this episode offers a refreshing, honest exploration of what it means to reclaim pleasure and embrace your own erotic journey on your own terms. Join us for a candid conversation that challenges the scripts and empowers you to reconnect with yourself.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book | Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly Richmond

Book | Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Podcast | Pleasure Mechanics

CONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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