developing a growth mindset to overcome splitting and perfectionism

developing a growth mindset to overcome splitting and perfectionism

In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships.


What we cover in this episode:


  • How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labels
  • The psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive roots
  • Practical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindset
  • How perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cycles
  • Insights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partner


If you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.


Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.


The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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