why you crave chaos in love

why you crave chaos in love

Why does love feel most real when it hurts? When the tension, the pull, the rupture are the only things that makes you feel alive? If you’ve ever found yourself confusing emotional chaos for connection, this one’s for you.


In this episode, we’re diving beneath the surface of your craving for intensity. The kind of love that leaves you anxious, off-center, and chasing closeness like a fix. This isn’t love. It’s a nervous system wired for unpredictability. It’s the echo of past wounds that made love feel unsafe, volatile, or earned through over-functioning. We’ll unravel the deeper patterns. The ones that don’t just keep you tied to toxic dynamics, but make the stillness of real intimacy feel foreign. We’ll talk about why safe love can feel boring, why peace can feel threatening, and how to start seeing these cravings for what they really are: old survival scripts dressed up as romance.


This isn’t a self-help pep talk. It’s an invitation to see your pain clearly. To stop making a home in heartbreak. And to remember: stability isn’t the absence of passion. iIt’s the soil where real love finally has the chance to take root.


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Episoder(347)

The Skill AI Can Never Replace (And Why I’m Teaching Tarot)

The Skill AI Can Never Replace (And Why I’m Teaching Tarot)

This episode is the opening lesson from my new Patreon series, House of Cards.House of Cards is an ongoing study of the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot through depth psychology, mythology, symbolism, dreams, ...

25 Jun 31min

The Arrogance of Too Much Empathy

The Arrogance of Too Much Empathy

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23 Jun 1h 5min

Gay Men Have Always Loved a “Difficult” Woman

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For much of my life, many of my closest friendships have been with gay men.Not because they were fun little accessories or stereotypical sidekicks, either. We didn’t even always have that much in comm...

16 Jun 50min

The Female Shadow

The Female Shadow

Female cruelty often works insidiously enough to make the person on the receiving end of it gaslight the hell out of themselves. The punishment that’s served up tends to arrive socially or emotionally...

9 Jun 1h 12min

The Christian Grimoire Evangelicals Forgot About (Part 1)

The Christian Grimoire Evangelicals Forgot About (Part 1)

Most people think Christian history has a simple answer to anything regarding “magic": don’t touch it, and all of it is “demonic.”The Arbatel of Magick makes that answer harder to defend. This strange...

2 Jun 43min

Why Everyone Sounds Religious About AI [Consciousness Stream for May 2026]

Why Everyone Sounds Religious About AI [Consciousness Stream for May 2026]

Well folks, it’s that time again for our weekly recap of the month. On this one, we’ll dive into Richard Dawkins and his new essay on UnHerd. This is a man who spent years telling all of us that consc...

28 Mai 26min

The Body Keeps the Mileage (On Mortality & Wellness Panic)

The Body Keeps the Mileage (On Mortality & Wellness Panic)

The inspiration for this episode came to me after looking at a small scar under my daughter’s eye and realizing that our bodies really do keep the f*cking score. That thought sent me down a bit of an ...

26 Mai 1h

Why Tarot Feels So Accurate, And How to Actually Read a Card

Why Tarot Feels So Accurate, And How to Actually Read a Card

Someone tagged me this week in a Christian conversion testimony video and accused me of leading people into demonic tarot witchcraft, which honestly made me laugh. So naturally, I made an episode.I fe...

21 Mai 25min

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