Therapy Talk: Boundaries with Leah Bonnema

In this episode of SSRI’M OK, hosts Dr. Bijan Zarrabi, a psychiatry resident, and Macey Isaacs, a stand-up comedian, are joined by the hilarious Leah Bonnema (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Don’t Tell Comedy) for a deep—and deeply funny—conversation about boundaries. What are boundaries, anyway? They break it down with examples of physical, emotional, and time-based boundaries (yes, even Howie Mandel’s famous fist bump counts). They explore why boundaries are essential—not just for maintaining your own well-being, but for preventing resentment and burnout, and striking that delicate balance between your individual needs and the needs of others.

They also talk about the how: how to actually set a boundary using “I” statements, how to be consistent, and why it’s okay for boundaries to evolve over time. Plus, they unpack tricky territory like the weaponization of boundaries and how to tell the difference between a real boundary and just being selfish.

Leah also shares wild stories from her time growing up in rural Maine in the lawless ‘90s, and Bijan offers some practical tips for people pleasers who struggle with setting limits. It’s honest, funny, and might just give you permission to say “no” with love.

Resources Mentioned:

• Mayo Clinic Health System – Setting Boundaries for Well-Being

  https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/setting-boundaries-for-well-being

  UC Davis Health – Why Boundaries Matter for Your Mental Health

  https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/how-to-set-boundaries-and-why-it-matters-for-your-mental-health/2024/03

  Psychology Today – Setting Boundaries: Self-Care or Selfish?

  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meaningfull/202209/setting-boundaries-self-care-or-selfish

  DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) – 8 Tips for Setting Boundaries for Your Mental Health

  https://www.dbsalliance.org/support/young-adults/8-tips-on-setting-boundaries-for-your-mental-health

• “Gift of Fear” by De Becker
• Potato gun

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Art by Zoe Zakson

Music by Raul Garcia

Edited by Katie Hettenbach

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