Devoted but Doomed
Modern Love28 Okt 2020

Devoted but Doomed

In college, Malcolm Conner penned a rambling email intended for his crush. “You have cow eyes,” he wrote. “I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful.”

What he hadn’t disclosed — to his crush or to anyone at school — was that he was transgender and had transitioned at age 15. But he knew he had to tell this “charismatic acquaintance,” for what they had was flirtatious and unstoppable; it was, as Malcolm put it, physics.

As it turned out, his crush had something to share too. They dated anyway — quietly, both knowing that each day of sweetness together was drawing them closer toward the last.

Featured stories:

  • “The Physics of Forbidden Love," Malcolm Conner
  • “Strangers on a Train," Cecilia Pesao


Malcolm’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episoder(435)

My Sweaty Revenge

My Sweaty Revenge

Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help b...

1 Nov 202318min

I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father...

25 Okt 202326min

Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept."To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?” Subscribe today at nytimes.com/po...

20 Okt 202313min

What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna hersel...

18 Okt 202327min

Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men."To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.” Subscribe today at n...

13 Okt 202313min

Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending...

11 Okt 202326min

Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?” ...

6 Okt 202312min

Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every...

4 Okt 202330min

Populært innen Samfunn

rss-spartsklubben
aftenpodden
giver-og-gjengen-vg
lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
konspirasjonspodden
aftenpodden-usa
rss-nesten-hele-uka-med-lepperod
popradet
rss-henlagt-andy-larsgaard
grenselos
wolfgang-wee-uncut
min-barneoppdragelse
synnve-og-vanessa
fladseth
rss-dannet-uten-piano
alt-fortalt
rss-dette-ma-aldri-skje-igjen
frokostshowet-pa-p5
198-land-med-einar-trnquist
rss-frekvens-med-anine-olsen