Married to a Deal Breaker
Modern Love23 Feb 2022

Married to a Deal Breaker

What are your dating non-negotiables? For Hyla Sabesin Finn, it was smoking — or so she thought.

Hyla met Larry in college. She was 17; he was a 21-year-old law student, puffing away outside the library. Hyla had been “indoctrinated by parents whose cocktail parties were littered with ‘no smoking’ signs back when smokers still mingled freely in society,” she wrote in her 2005 Modern Love essay. In spite of this, she was smitten.

Today’s episode explores how our standards can evolve (if at all) when it comes to love. Our host, Anna Martin, calls up her friends to ask about their deal breakers. Plus, we get to hear from Hyla and Larry, who’ve now been married for 35 years.

Modern Love is hosting its sixth college essay contest this year! If you’re an undergraduate at an American college or university, tell us what love is like for you. Visit nytimes.com/essaycontest for submission details. The deadline is March 27.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episoder(435)

My Sweaty Revenge

My Sweaty Revenge

Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help b...

1 Nov 202318min

I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father...

25 Okt 202326min

Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept."To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?” Subscribe today at nytimes.com/po...

20 Okt 202313min

What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna hersel...

18 Okt 202327min

Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men."To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.” Subscribe today at n...

13 Okt 202313min

Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending...

11 Okt 202326min

Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?” ...

6 Okt 202312min

Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every...

4 Okt 202330min

Populært innen Samfunn

rss-spartsklubben
giver-og-gjengen-vg
aftenpodden
konspirasjonspodden
lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
aftenpodden-usa
popradet
rss-nesten-hele-uka-med-lepperod
rss-henlagt-andy-larsgaard
wolfgang-wee-uncut
grenselos
min-barneoppdragelse
rss-dette-ma-aldri-skje-igjen
synnve-og-vanessa
rss-dannet-uten-piano
alt-fortalt
frokostshowet-pa-p5
fladseth
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
opptur-med-annette-og-ingeborg