204: He Quit Porn — But the Marriage Still Feels Broken (here's what to do)

204: He Quit Porn — But the Marriage Still Feels Broken (here's what to do)

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Episode Description:

In this powerful episode, we explore why pornography addiction recovery often leaves couples feeling stuck — even after the behavior stops. If you’re a husband who’s no longer watching porn but still feels attacked or discouraged when your wife brings up the past, or a wife who still feels pain, confusion, and fear even though he says he’s changed, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn why healing from porn addiction is about more than just stopping the behavior. True porn addiction recovery requires repairing the emotional meaning behind the betrayal, rebuilding emotional safety in marriage, and learning how to respond to each other in a way that fosters connection — not shutdowns, not avoidance, and not silence.

We break down:

  • The emotional disconnect that happens after the behavior stops

  • Why your wife still brings up the past, even if he’s “doing everything right”

  • The difference between quitting pornography and rebuilding trust

  • How to navigate painful conversations without spiraling into shame or defensiveness

  • What wives need in order to feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe

  • How husbands can support healing without feeling like they’re “never enough”

  • Why stopping porn isn’t the finish line — it’s the starting point for emotional repair and real connection

If you’re trying to heal your marriage after porn addiction, this conversation will help you understand each other more deeply — and move forward with clarity, compassion, and real tools.

This episode is packed with practical insight for anyone navigating marriage after betrayal, porn addiction in marriage, and the painful gap that can remain even after someone has stopped watching pornography.

Episoder(218)

How to Resolve Her Fears That Prevent Affection and Sex

How to Resolve Her Fears That Prevent Affection and Sex

So often a woman feels reluctance to be affectionate or have sex after there’s been betrayal due to pornography addiction or infidelity. She protects herself from getting hurt even more, so her guard is up. In order to help her work through her fears, men first need to understand what they are and then know how to help support her so she can start to feel safe enough to open back up. Discover the conversations you can have together that will help you come together and know how to reintegrate affection and sex when the time is right. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

1 Jul 202131min

A Powerful Tool to Process Through Addiction or Trauma Triggers Successfully

A Powerful Tool to Process Through Addiction or Trauma Triggers Successfully

Triggers can hit us seemingly from out of nowhere, but using this tool can help you to identify and process through them successfully. Whether it has to do with a pornography addiction trigger, trauma trigger, or anything else that creates stress, overwhelm or anger. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

24 Jun 202130min

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

Oftentimes, a big part of the check-in conversation revolves around whether he was triggered to watch porn or not.. The problem is that if he was triggered that day, her hearing about it can cause a negative reaction and feel like it undermines the progress that he/they are making. But transparency is important and opening up when he is struggling is necessary, so in this episode I share with you exactly how to talk about triggers in a way that helps her to feel safe and build trust, instead of these discussions spiraling into a fight. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Jun 202123min

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

Healing from porn addiction and betrayal trauma can have overwhelming moments that can feel dark and lonely. But there is hope if you have one particular resource or tool to help you through those moments. In this episode I share with you the #1 tool to navigate moments that knock you down, so you can find the strength and hope to collect yourself and keep moving forward. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

3 Jun 202122min

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

How do you know if his desire for sex is rooted in pornography addiction or if it’s coming from a healthy place? Knowing this makes all the difference when it comes to reintegrating sex back into the relationship when the time is right. In this episode I share with you the #1 distinguishing factor and how you can use this tool to continue to make progress in overcoming the addiction or building the relationship. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

27 Mai 202122min

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Sometimes couples reach a stalemate when she thinks he's not doing enough to work on his pornography addiction and if he feels like no matter what he does it'll never be enough. There are a few different reasons why we see things like this, and in this episode I'll share with you what each person can do about it to keep making progress without these discussions resulting in a fight. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

20 Mai 202130min

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

Whenever there is a struggle with porn addiction, there's often dishonesty. And that is one of the most damaging elements to a marriage, but if you are going to eliminate it completely, you must understand the reason why it's continuing to happen. Lying is a symptom of something deeper, and once you discover it and get the tools to resolve it, the dishonesty goes away. In this episode I share with you some tools for both him and her in order to remove any blocks that make being honest difficult. For therapy from Sam, send an email here to get information: sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

13 Mai 202122min

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The road to healing can feel completely overwhelming, so I wanted to break down the process to overcome pornography addiction into just 5 steps. If you focus on these core components, then you'll achieve lasting freedom from porn addiction, and your relationship can heal and flourish. For therapy from Sam, send an email here for more information: sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. 2yByxYKPewtkE5KcROhu

6 Mai 202129min

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