Unmasking the Revolution: Episode 11

"Episode 11: Lunacy and Ecstasy” Part I. If it were possible—and thankfully it’s not—to send an Old Time Freak Show’s cast along a gravity-drive voyage on the Event Horizon the home movie taken afterward might capture something of the horror on the streets of Revolutionary Paris. As with our tried and true flogging-movie, however: “Hell is just a word. The reality is far, far worse.”

We on Unmasking the Revolution truly have labored to set the stage of what occurred in 1789—and we shall wade through its rivers of blood presently. Yet unmasking the revolution is not a light task, and in exposing to you all the truth of the manifold, diabolical conspiracies which sought to destroy true government and the Christian Faith we may have failed to truly capture the mood which hung over everything.

We shall attempt to correct that now.

In the fashionable salons of the rich corrupted members of the elite rambled off political jargon as the quack protege of Herr Hell sent powerful electric currents through their bodies that in turn sent the philosophes into paroxysms that damaged muscles (and furniture) but revealed fleeting glimpses of a social contract. His face brutally deformed as a consequence of his childhood predilection for cow-teat sucking, Danton could be heard across crowded city blocks. He was equally adept at encouraging young Frenchmen to die for the Fatherland as he was selling the same soldiers fake supplies, waving and smiling as a luxury carriage whisked him away from the doomed teenagers. Barely able to keep his balance, his body thoroughly wracked by pains well-earned from a life of debauchery that would have killed several mammoths, Mirabeau staggers unsteadily about...staying upright only by virtue of his groping hands. And from a dark room, the curtains drawn, Joey Balsamo a.k.a. le comte de Cagliostro is fawned over by young ladies for his ability to summon up Satan on demand.

There are the heroes of the Revolution for you.

Oh,and Marat, who one notices only due to the sparkle of his ratlike eyes through the sewer-grate. Yes, he lived in the sewer.

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