#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship
On Attachment15 Jul 2025

#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning.

Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance.

We’ll cover:

  • Why space needs to be respected, not punished
  • The importance of having a partner who can self-regulate rather than emotionally offload
  • How clear, direct, and honest communication builds safety
  • The value of each partner having a full, meaningful life outside the relationship
  • Why pacing matters — and how moving too fast can trigger shutdown
  • Balancing lightness and heaviness

Whether you’re avoidant yourself or in a relationship with someone who is, this episode will help you better understand the conditions that allow these relationships to thrive.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(256)

#24: Special Episode: Behind the Scenes of our Relationship (w/ my partner Joel)

#24: Special Episode: Behind the Scenes of our Relationship (w/ my partner Joel)

In this episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel to answer all of your questions about our relationship. We share everything from how we met to how we navigate conflict, our differing attachment styles ...

7 Sep 202236min

#23: 5 Questions to Ask Before Getting Back with Your Ex

#23: 5 Questions to Ask Before Getting Back with Your Ex

In this episode, we're talking about whether it's a good idea to get back together with your ex - and under what circumstances. I offer you 5 questions for reflection before you make a decision, which...

30 Aug 202220min

#22: 5 Reasons Why Anxiously Attached People Struggle with Break-ups

#22: 5 Reasons Why Anxiously Attached People Struggle with Break-ups

If you're someone with an anxious attachment style, there's a good chance you've really struggled to cope with relationship break-ups at some point in your life. And while break-ups are hard across th...

24 Aug 202219min

#21: Break-Up Q&A: The "No-Contact" Period, Jealousy & Low Self-Worth, Feeling Blindsided, & Dating Mindset

#21: Break-Up Q&A: The "No-Contact" Period, Jealousy & Low Self-Worth, Feeling Blindsided, & Dating Mindset

In this episode, I'm answering all your break-up related questions! We're covering whether and when to break a "no-contact" period, how to navigate jealousy and comparison around an ex's new partner, ...

16 Aug 202226min

#20: How to Find Closure After a Break-Up

#20: How to Find Closure After a Break-Up

In this week's episode, we're talking all things closure: what it is, why it's so elusive, and why certain people are more affected than others by an ending that lacks closure. I'll also share some ti...

9 Aug 202221min

#19: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

#19: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

In this episode, we're diving into the challenging topic of how to know whether and when to walk away from a relationship that isn't working. I offer you five guiding questions that will lead you to g...

3 Aug 202215min

#18: Relationship Red Flags & Green Flags

#18: Relationship Red Flags & Green Flags

In this episode, I'm sharing with you 5 of the red flags that I see in relationships, along with their healthier, "green flag" alternatives. We'll talk through things like knowing where you stand with...

26 Jul 202221min

#17: 5 Differences Between the Fearful and Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles

#17: 5 Differences Between the Fearful and Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles

Ever wondered what differentiates the fearful avoidant and the dismissive avoidant attachment styles? In this episode, I'm breaking down 5 key differences between these two types. We cover things like...

19 Jul 202218min

Populært innen Samfunn

rss-spartsklubben
giver-og-gjengen-vg
aftenpodden
aftenpodden-usa
rss-nesten-hele-uka-med-lepperod
konspirasjonspodden
popradet
rss-henlagt-andy-larsgaard
lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
alt-fortalt
rss-espen-lee-usensurert
wolfgang-wee-uncut
grenselos
min-barneoppdragelse
rss-dette-ma-aldri-skje-igjen
rss-dannet-uten-piano
fladseth
frokostshowet-pa-p5
rss-siktet
bokmerket-2