257: Overcoming Accidental Accomplice to Fraud | Feedback Friday

Benjamin Hardy (@BenjaminPHardy) is an organizational psychologist and author of books about willpower, self-limiting beliefs, and teamwork. His latest offering (co-authored with Dan Sullivan), is The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success. What We Discuss with Benjamin Hardy: If you measure your current self against your ideal (often chosen and defined by other people rather than yourself), you’ll never be happy because there will always be a gap. Unsuccessful people primarily focus on this (but we all wind up here sometimes). If you measure your current self against your previous self — and notice the gain you've made between yesterday and today — you’ll experience happiness, satisfaction, and confidence. The most successful people understand this. The difference between ideals (general, immeasurable, and constantly changing) and goals (specific, measurable, and time-bound) -- and why your ideals shouldn't be your benchmark for achievement, but merely the source from which your goals are inspired. How you can weed out the arbitrary reference points with which you've been burdened by external sources and choose ones that are actually meaningful -- not just constant reminders of what you don't have. How the increased confidence that comes from living in the gain allows you to set bigger and more imaginative goals to truly tailor the fabric of your own life. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/575 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Okt 202153min

You've been secretly chatting with an old flame whose torch you still carry, and you even met in person to discover that these feelings are mutual. But there's a big hitch: while you're now single again, she's in what seems to be an otherwise happy marriage and is mother to three. Now you feel frustrated, jealous, and even heartbroken because you can't be with her. Or can you? We'll try to help you find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/574 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Rekindling with an old flame whose feelings are said to be mutual should fill you with joy, but her current marriage to another man and motherhood to his children is a bit of a downer. Can there be merit in pursuing something...extramarital? You share custody of two children with a narcissistic ex -- one is hers by a father who was out of the picture by the time you came along, and the other was adopted. The problem: she shamelessly plays favorites and clearly favors her biological kid. Are you hurting your adopted child by allowing her to go to your toxic ex's every other week? You're blind and working toward certification in a well-paying field, but it involves visual math concepts and a lot of the instructional material is inaccessible. On the other hand, your interest in languages makes a career as an interpreter appealing -- and it's much easier to accomplish. Should you finish the certification you've spent so much time and money pursuing, or just cut your losses and take the lower-paying but potentially more satisfying path? You have well-off parents who let you live rent-free in a house they own while you finish school, but you think your roommate may be taking advantage of the situation by mooching free food without asking and even offering it to guests. What can you do to set better boundaries without creating an awkward living environment? Working the night shift doing repetitive work wasn't really what you signed on for, so you've been looking for a new job. Now you've been informed you're on deck for training in a more challenging task that's more up your alley, but you're not sure you can work three more months of overnights before this is slated to happen. What are your best options here? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Okt 202146min

David Buss (@profdavidbuss) is considered the world’s leading scientific expert on the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies. He is the author of several books on the subject, most recently When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault. What We Discuss with David Buss: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint, the reproductive interests of males and females sometimes diverge. Why metabolizing alcohol differently makes women more susceptible to an expectation of bonding (and how some men exploit this). The Dark Triad traits that mark the men most likely to have short-term relationships and cheat. How do women use active signaling to show they're more open to short-term relationships? She's not playing hard to get. If she rejects you softly, it isn't an invitation to try harder -- it's a survival tactic meant to avoid prompting a violent reaction. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/573 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Okt 20211h 21min

Tamer Elnoury is an Arabic-speaking Muslim American, a longtime elite counterterrorism undercover agent, and co-author of American Radical: Inside the World of an Undercover Muslim FBI Agent. What We Discuss with Tamer Elnoury: What unique psychological skills (and desire for thrills) drew Tamer to the exciting and dangerous life of undercover law enforcement work? Why, when working undercover, you're only as good as your informant. How an agent is trained to work undercover (and why the FBI undercover school only has a 50 percent graduation rate). How an undercover agent blends in with criminals without breaking the laws they've been recruited to enforce. What an undercover agent does to hook a mark into noticing and eventually confiding in them. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/572 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Okt 20211h 20min

As an exemplary member of the clergy for 29 years, you'd think honesty to your superiors would be rewarded unconditionally. Alas, when you disclosed a need to seek counseling during a rough patch between you and your spouse (which resulted in a stronger relationship), you were unceremoniously booted from your position. Now you can't find work at another church because you've been unfairly branded a pariah among those of your faith, and you can't find a job among the secular because your clerical past seems to be a turn-off to potential employers. What can you do? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/571 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Honesty got you kicked out of the clergy, and the seculars seem turned off by your pastor past. Who will hire you now? [Thanks to Pastor Brad Mortensen for helping us with this one!] Thanks to an accidental pocket dial after calling your parents to ask for a loan, you overheard exactly what your mother thinks of you -- and it wasn't favorable. Yet she's never hesitated to call you when she needs help. Is it unreasonable to cut toxic family members out of your life? You're a fully booked hairstylist at your sister-in-law's salon, and feel it's time to branch out on your own after 20 years. But you'd be bringing along another fully booked stylist, which would ultimately hurt your sister-in-law's business. Is there a way to follow opportunity without leaving family in the lurch? You love your job, but you find the constant interruptions that come with it challenging your ability to stay on task. What can you do to stay focused? You run a junior developer meetup; most people come through, build technical and interpersonal confidence, and leave when they get jobs, but there are some people who have been coming back week after week for years. These folks are generally technically proficient, but lack in the social skills department. How can you proactively add social skills training without coming across as some kind of jerk? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Okt 202154min

Marc Fennell (@MarcFennell) is an award-winning journalist, interviewer, author, and documentary maker. He is also the writer and narrator of Audible Original Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist. What We Discuss with Marc Fennell: Who stole $10 million in nuts (specifically almonds and pistachios) from California's Central Valley farmers -- and why? Why are nuts (and prepackaged food in general) such ideal targets for theft, and how do current security protocols make it so temptingly easy for thieves with the means to haul them away? What makes nuts grown in California's Central Valley valuable enough for organized criminals to take notice, and where do they go? Who wins and who loses when hot nuts change hands? What will it take to stop these heists from continuing? And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/570 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Okt 202156min

Rick Ross (@RickRoss) is a multi-platinum-selling, multi-Grammy-nominated rapper, artist, songwriter, investor, and author of The Perfect Day to Boss Up: A Hustler's Guide to Building Your Empire. What We Discuss with Rick Ross: Why Rick, in spite of growing up middle class with a computer programmer father, got involved with dealing drugs in his early teens. Where Rick's "no complaints" policy originated and how it keeps him focused on what's important. How embracing the difficulty of the process that allows Rick to acquire, enjoy, and manage his success builds resilience. The dangers of hustling backwards. How taking Rick's calendar audit exercise can help you keep your schedule lean for the things that matter and trim away the things that don't. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/569 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Okt 20211h 3min

You're a bit embarrassed to say you went through a debaucherous sugar daddy phase, but your sweet tooth for the lifestyle turned sour and left you feeling empty. Now you're in a more confident headspace to pursue regular dating, but should you disclose this part of your life to a hypothetical significant other should things turn serious? We'll try to find a good answer (devoid of any candy coating) to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/568 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: After going through a sugar daddy phase, you're ready for regular dating. But should you disclose your past if a relationship gets serious? Jordan. Jen. Jayden. Is the Harbinger family alliteration premeditated, or purely happenstance? You were recently offered the position of Assistant Grand Master in your Masonic District -- a huge honor -- but what they don't know is you may have to move for a job offer you're pursuing. How do you break the news without offending your fellow Stonecutters? Showers: is it best to take them in the morning or at night? Your profession makes you highly visible in your cozy, rural community, so you're finding it hard to date online without stumbling across the profile of someone who would definitely recognize you. What are your options for keeping romance on the DL without driving 250 miles outside of town? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] As a novice, what's the best way to start building your podcast? What happens to the Feedback Friday questions that don’t make it on the show? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Okt 202152min