257: Overcoming Accidental Accomplice to Fraud | Feedback Friday

Jack Schafer (@jackschafer) is a retired FBI special agent, current assistant professor at Western Illinois University, and co-author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Catch up with part one here!] What We Discuss with Jack Schafer: How undercover cops get made just by the way they look at people. The spotlight effect: why we all overestimate how much other people notice about us, and how we can use this to our advantage when trying to spot a lie (or not get caught in a lie ourselves). What Jack has to gain by making minor mistakes deliberately when he's teaching a class. What people are really telling us when they're angry, and how we can stealthily defuse them before they go off. If you make people feel good about themselves, they will seek to be around you to get those feelings again. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/558 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Sep 202142min

Jack Schafer (@jackschafer) is a retired FBI special agent, current assistant professor at Western Illinois University, and co-author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Keep an eye out for part two later this week!] What We Discuss with Jack Schafer: Why happy people make terrible spy recruits. How the Friendship Formula (Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity) can be used to build rapport in every human interaction. How to "name it and claim it" when manipulative techniques are being used against you to withstand and resist their effects. How to recognize friend and foe signals in others and make sure you're not inadvertently broadcasting the signals that mark you as an easy target for manipulation. What's really going on when someone grabs food from your plate without asking, or takes their sweet time getting out of the parking spot you're clearly waiting for. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/557 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Sep 202154min

You live in an extended family situation and the only contribution one member makes to the collective is drinking, smoking pot, eating your food, stealing your old phones to pawn, and making messes they can't be bothered to clean up. Since they're not liable to move away from free room and board of their own volition, is there anything you can do to expunge the family sponge and restore sanity to the homestead? We'll try to find a solution to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/556 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: When one member of your extended family is allowed to live in the house rent-free while eating your food, making messes, and contributing nothing, what can you do to expunge this family sponge? After numerous disappointments trying to conceive a baby through natural and scientifically enhanced means, you can't help but wonder if you're just ignoring something the universe is trying to tell you. Your in-laws' free-range cats have fleas, and now, after a recent visit, your home is infested with them. How can you fix this problem without making it seem like an attack on your wife's family? Your brother has been working with/hanging out with d-bag bros for so long that he's become one. You know deep down he's a great, thoughtful, and grounded person, but you're worried you may never see this side of him again. How can you nudge him away from this wretched d-baggery? You've been working hard at your high-paying, high-stress job through vacations and holidays for years that you think you may be burning out. In your 30s with unfulfilled career ambitions, would it be imprudent to take a gap year off to go traveling -- an almost guaranteed remedy for the depression you've been feeling? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Sep 202149min

Jessica Tracy (@ProfJessTracy) is a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, where she also directs the Emotion & Self Lab. She is the author of Take Pride: Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!]  What We Discuss with Jessica Tracy: Pride is a universal human emotion and a force that can be harnessed to help humans succeed — it’s a key ingredient to confidence. Understand the difference between hubristic and authentic pride — why you should seek out one but try to minimize the other. Learn how pride intersects with grit. Identify pride to gain an advantage in shifting your own behavior and knowing how to react to others. Discover how the statuses of dominance and prestige are affected by pride. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/555 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Sep 202147min

Laurie Santos (@lauriesantos) is a professor of psychology at Yale University, instructor of Coursera's The Science of Well-Being course (adapted from her popular Psychology and the Good Life course at Yale), and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. What We Discuss with Laurie Santos: Happiness is actually a set of skills we can learn and master as opposed to some ideal state of being. While there's no denying that genetics and circumstances play a role in happiness, the good news is that we're in control of developing the mindset and behavior to mobilize it. The mechanisms by which people become happy (or miserable), and some tools we can use to to hack our own happiness. The bad news: we outgrow the rush of the happiest days of our lives; the good news: we outgrow the anguish from the worst days of our lives. Why Olympic bronze medalists are often happier than silver medalists. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/554 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

31 Aug 20211h 8min

Your best friend speaks glowingly about her fiancé, but she lives far away and your recent communications have only taken place by text and telephone. The thing is, this fiancé seems to be ever-present and listening in the background whenever she's in contact, and she let it slip that he's fantasized about seeing her lick from a dog's dish. You're worried he might be controlling every aspect of her life, but she doesn't seem to be distressed. Could what you perceive to be tyrannical oversight just be part of a consensual power dynamic they've established in their relationship? We'll try to find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/553 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Why are height and salary correlated? [Thanks to Scott Galloway for this one!] Is your best friend really being controlled by a domineering fiancé, or is this just a consensually kinky aspect of their relationship? Your ex-husband swapped out libido-killing medication (that treated his anxiety and depression, but contributed to your divorce) for cannabis and junk food. This seems to leave him with a loss of appetite, but how can you find reliable information to confirm what's really going on and help him out of his funk? Should you file an ethics complaint against your neighbor who's trying to sabotage your home sale -- after refusing your initial, generous offer to sell to them first?  [Once again, thanks to Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] How do you know when it's time to stop negotiating and accept the terms of a job offer without feeling like you've left some unknown variable on the table? You now make even more money in 10 hours or less per week than you did in 70 hours working for someone else. But how can you dispel the anxiety and guilt you feel because your supportive partner is still grinding out 60-hour workweeks? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Aug 202150min

Will Storr (@wstorr) is an award-winning investigative journalist and best-selling author. His latest book is The Status Game: On Social Position and How We Use It. What We Discuss with Will Storr: The evolutionary purpose of status and why it's always been important for human survival. How seeking status spurs innovation. The three kinds of status games we've been playing throughout human history: dominance, virtue, and success. The connection between low status and depression: why Will believes that Jeffrey Epstein did kill himself. Why you might choose a higher status title at work instead of a pay raise. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/552 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Aug 20211h 10min

T-Pain (@TPAIN) is a rapper, singer-songwriter, record producer known for popularizing auto-tune in modern music, and host of the Nappy Boy Radio podcast. What We Discuss with T-Pain: Why T-Pain will wear a Fitbit over a Rolex, and why there's no shame in wearing fake jewelry in public. T-Pain's tattoo goals and the meaning behind the ones he already has. What T-Pain learned after avoiding time with his own family pursuing the ambition to be #1. How T-Pain went from having $90 million in the bank to $0, and how he climbed his way back. How a musician's life really changes once they earn a Grammy award (let alone two). And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/551 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

24 Aug 20211h 18min