004 – Lucky Online, Connecting When You’re Not Even Looking

Growing up in Leah’s home everyone was comfortable with adoption. Her adopted mom is an adoptee, and her two siblings are adoptees, though they are biologically related to one another. The kids were made to feel special because her parents chose them. But no matter how much love an adoptee receives, sometimes knowing that their origins are with another set of parents can fuel undeniable desires to try to learn more about themself. In Leah’s story, she was at a moment in her life when she wasn’t actively searching when her c0-worker’s luck online changed everything in an instant.

The post 004 – Lucky Online, Connecting When You’re Not Even Looking appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Leah: 00:01 So my search kind of stopped there for some time. It really stopped for probably 10 years or so before I was even really looking again, I kind of decided at that point, look what I have in my fantasy is all I need. I don't necessarily want the truth. That truth may not be what I want to hear.

Voices: 00:24 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:35 This is "Who Am I Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on today's show I'm joined by Leah. Now we've all been online and found ourselves going down what seems like a rabbit hole content that's automatically fed to us. But what if that rabbit hole led you straight to your family of origin? In Leah's case, after years of searching on and off for her relatives, it turned out that she just needed a little bit of luck online. I'm so glad that Andrea was able to connect us.

Damon: 01:19 So tell me a little bit about your family growing up, your family structure and you know, as an adoptee where you fell in your family and how it was in your community.

Leah: 01:31 Yeah. Well I was adopted at six months of age. I was the first child they adopted, so I was the oldest. Let's see, they adopted me in October of 1974, didn't know much information about any of the birth details or birth family, but they adopted me then. And then eventually I think I was about five, my brother and my sister who were natural siblings. So I was the oldest of three of us.

Damon: 01:57 So you're the oldest of three total adoptees, but the other two are biological siblings to each other?

Leah: 02:03 That is correct. Yup.

Damon: 02:04 Gotcha. And how did everybody get along? How was adoption perceived or talked about in your family? How did they make you feel comfortable with it?

Leah: 02:12 Yeah, it was actually always, I mean, I don't remember a time not knowing I was adopted. My adopted mother was also adopted as a baby and so she was really open about it. She always had told us from day one, but she made it like a really special thing. Like it was a special gift to be an adopted kid because my parents got to pick me and so like they chose me out of and it made it, you know, it made it seem like a special thing. So it was never something that I felt like I was, you know, rejected or abandoned. I always was always presented as, it was just amazing gift that they got to choose who and they chose me and that made me special somehow. It was a great way to kind of fall in through that because mom was just great about it. She was real open. She was talking about all that. She was talking about her own experience and she would talk about wanting to know her history. So she was pretty understanding of all of the feelings that we would have as we kind of grew up.

Damon: 03:08 What was her experience with her own adoption and wanting to know her own history? Had she launched her own search to try to locate her biological relatives or her family of origin.

Leah: 03:17 I don't think she searched herself. I tell the story of her birth father showing up one day randomly and knocking on her door and they talked. They didn't really ever develop any kind of relationship. Um, and I don't know that they ever even had contact after that. I think she was told that her family was a heavy Italian family and that it was in their culture that the first born, they didn't want a girl. They would want a boy. And so she had been given up because of that is, is my understanding of what she hold us. Um, so she didn't have as much feeling in wanting to reconnect with that family.

Damon: