016 – Shall we Cry? No, Let’s Just Laugh!

Jennifer had a very happy childhood and always felt special because she was an adoptee; she knew her parents really wanted her. Their family was heavily involved with the Children’s Home Society in Los Angeles where her mother did fund-raising work. Jennifer so appreciated her loving parents for their lifetime of love and support, but as she got older, she had a feeling that she would be close to her birth mother and that she was likely more like her than her adopted mother. After her own son had a positive reunion experience with a daughter he fathered years ago, Jennifer decided she would make an an attempt at reunion herself. On pure luck she was given year’s worth of microfiche data that had her family tree’s information. Jennifer’s mother had always hoped for their reunion, and even welcomed Jennifer’s adopted brother into their family too.

The post 016 – Shall we Cry? No, Let’s Just Laugh! appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Jennifer (00:03):

I personally feel like my contract with her as a soul was to get her out of that situation and her to give me a healthy body, which she has done.

Voices (00:18):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:30):

This is, Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, I'm Damon Davis and on the show today is Jennifer. She says she grew up perfectly happy as an adoptee and never really had a desire to search for her biological family. Jennifer says that her own children kind of pushed her to search because they were interested in their own biological heritage, but it wasn't quite enough to propel her forward. Then their family experienced the separate reunification that had been such a positive experience. Jennifer began to think perhaps she should seek out her own biological family too. She didn't think she'd have much success in her search because she had a closed adoption in California, but going online proved to be a highly efficient way to find way more than she bargained for. And very quickly too. Jennifer starts us off in the beginning of her journey. She always knew she was adopted and her family was heavily involved with the children's home society. So adoption was a comfortable topic in their home.

Jennifer (01:38):

I always felt like, Oh, I'm adopted, I'm special. I felt very positive about it, you know, I know a lot of people don't, my brother didn't feel that way, but for me I was always, always fine with it.

Damon (01:51):

So what happened for you that made you decide to search. I mean you sound like you had a great upbringing. You are perfectly comfortable in adoption. So it wasn't as though there were some ringing alarms that were saying, Hey, you need to go look for somebody. What, what changed your mind or, or how did your mind develop into wanting to search?

Jennifer (02:11):

Well, initially, um, my kids wanted to know their biological background and any medical things that, that, that might go on that they just didn't know about. And I said, Oh, well, all right, I guess I'll kind of make an effort. So I wrote a letter to the children's home society and said, if my mother ever wants to get in touch with me, please put her in touch with me. And of course, come to find out much later, my mother had written a similar letter, but they never put us in touch with each other.

Damon (02:40):

Oh no.

Jennifer (02:41):

That was before the time of internet. So you know, time went by. That was in my thirties, late twenties, early thirties, that I did that. But really I didn't have a big inclination to do that. But for some reason I had to call LA County records or something. And I called and this woman says, you have a sister that's looking for you. And I said, what? I just didn't really believe her because they can't tell you that stuff. So, um, I wrote down her name on a little scrap of paper and lost it. So I didn't, it just wasn't the right time in my life. I didn't really want to have to deal with all that, but it actually was my sister that did try to get in touch with me and she died before I met her. So it was unfortunate. But she was the next youngest sister and she did think she saw me once in San Diego cause she, I guess cause I look like the family.

Damon (03:43):

Is that right?

Jennifer (03:43):

Its entirely possible cause that's where I lived and she lived at that same time. Anyway. Yeah. That's interesting. That's an aside story.

Damon (03:51):

The next time Jennifer really thought about reunion involved her son and his own reunion. He had fathered a child when he was a teenager and now the idea that a reunion could be a positive experience had motivated her a little more.

Jennifer (04:04):

I wasn't told for two years. And after that happens and um, you know, we all wrote letters to this child, this girl child, and put them in her attorney's office in case she ever wanted to find out more about our family. Well, the attorney's office burned down, so she never got any letters, but one of the people in her family knew the mother and she said, would you like to get in touch with your parents? And she said, when she was 19, 18, she said, yeah, I would. She got in touch with my son and I met her and I met my baby granddaughter that my son had just gotten married. I met them at the same time and it was such a positive experience. I thought, Oh my God, that's really great to know that I should maybe look for my mom again. Now the Internet's you know, functioning. So it was in, I don't know, maybe, Hmm. I can't remember. I'm bad on years.

Damon (05:00):

That's okay.

Jennifer (05:02):

In the later two thousands but it was about nine years ago that decided I'd sit down at the computer and inquire and in about 36 hours I had this whole family tree that was huge. Huge.

Damon (05:16):

How did you do that? I mean, you know, like you said, the internet is kind of immature not too long ago. How did you go about your search for them online?

Jennifer (