S2 E6- 9 BEST Practices For Faith Leaders w/ Tara McCausland

S2 E6 – 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders With Tara McCausland
A H.E.R. Wings Unfold Production

Donate now to support H.E.R. Wings Unfold: https://herwingsunfold.org/donate/
Find a TS-12 Anon Meeting: https://www.ts12anon.org/find-a-meeting.html

Welcome to Relational Trauma SOS! In this episode, we’re honored to speak with Tara McCausland about 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders—a powerful guide developed by S.A. Lifeline to help clergy and spiritual leaders support individuals and couples affected by another’s unwanted sexual behavior.

These best practices are especially important for anyone ministering to people navigating betrayal trauma, abuse, addiction, adultery, or abandonment. Whether you're a pastor, bishop, therapist, or community leader, this conversation offers insight and empathy for guiding those in crisis.

We also highlight the growing need for trauma-sensitive healing communities and share some heartfelt updates about the expanding reach of TS-12 Anon, our 12-step program for survivors of relational trauma.

In this episode:

• Why faith leaders are like first responders in trauma care

• How to support both the affected partner and the offending individual

• Why separate meetings with each spouse are crucial

• Understanding betrayal trauma and how it impacts the brain and body

• Recognizing and respecting the affected partner’s timeline for healing and forgiveness

• The importance of compassion and accountability

“Understand, faith leader, that this is not a marriage issue. It’s something that’s happened within the marriage.” – Dr. Barbara Steffens

️ Special Note From the Host
We’ve been wonderfully overwhelmed by the number of survivors joining TS-12 Anon groups. If you're seeking a safe, trauma-informed community, we invite you to join us. We are also forming new groups tailored to specific experiences—such as domestic violence, childhood trauma, or being the loved one of an alcoholic. Email hello@ts12anon.org if you're interested.

Here’s what one anonymous participant recently shared:

“I believe TS-12 Anon was the missing piece in my healing journey. I’m already noticing a shift within myself and I feel like I’m reconnecting all the parts of me that were shattered and scattered at Discovery.”

If you’ve been waiting for an invitation, here it is.

Support Survivors Through 10 Strong Wings
She may be your coworker, neighbor, or friend—someone silently struggling after relational trauma. Your donation gives her a chance to attend our women’s healing retreat at no cost. Just $10 can make a difference. Join the movement.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode:

9 BEST Practices For Faith Leaders – S.A. Lifeline (PDF)

️ Pathway to Recovery Podcast: How Faith Leaders Can Support Couples (Raabsmith Interview)

Research Arti...

Chapters

• (00:00:00) - Relational Trauma SOS: 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders
• (00:01:08) - Betrayal Trauma Group
• (00:06:47) - Relational Trauma Survivor Tara McCausland
• (00:07:33) - 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders on Sexual Abuse
• (00:11:09) - Faith leaders need to get educated on porn use
• (00:13:55) - Pornography and problematic sexual behavior
• (00:17:30) - 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders on Pornography Abuse
• (00:21:46) - 12 Step: Let Go of Responsibility for Fixing the Marriage
• (00:24:47) - Step 3: Meet separately with each spouse who is willing
• (00:28:21) - Honesty and Accountability in Love Relationships
• (00:32:32) - How to Win an Affair: No blame for sex addiction
• (00:36:52) - 4 Tips for Healing a Broken Partner After Sexual Discovery or Disclosure
• (00:38:19) - How to Deal With a Bad Partner's Anger
• (00:39:22) - Don't Believe the Betrayed Partner's Story
• (00:43:47) - 7 Essentials of Compassion and Accountability
• (00:47:38) - Full Disclosure of Pornography Use 8
• (00:50:30) - 9 Rules of Forgiveness for Sexual Abuse
• (00:54:01) - Forgiveness and the Need for Trust
• (00:58:34) - When Trauma Survivors Unfold Their Wings Unfold