222. Discussing Through Discomfort: Why the Conversations You Avoid Cost You the Most

222. Discussing Through Discomfort: Why the Conversations You Avoid Cost You the Most

Some conversations are uncomfortable, but avoiding them comes with a cost.


You want a more successful career, a more fulfilling relationship, a more meaningful life? What if all that’s standing in your way — are the conversations that you’re avoiding?

“Most things that we want in life are on the other side of a difficult conversation,” says Jenn Wynn, a professor at NYU Stern School of Business and previously the director of education at the Obama Foundation. For nearly 10 years, she has taught a course on difficult conversations that equips people to communicate through discomfort in pursuit of what they want. “Sometimes it's a difficult conversation with a loved one, a colleague, a boss… sometimes it's a difficult conversation with myself,” she says. “Are you going to give up on your biggest dreams because you weren't willing to step out of your comfort zone?”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Wynn and host Matt Abrahams discuss how to build the “hard but worth-it skills” necessary for difficult communication. Whether it's asking for a raise, setting boundaries, or addressing conflict, Wynn’s insights show that the conversations you’re avoiding aren’t just holding you back — they’re keeping you from the life you really want.

To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.

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Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (00:52) - Understanding Difficult Conversations
  • (03:09) - Developing Emotional Intelligence
  • (04:09) - Self-Awareness, Pause, Reframe
  • (06:24) - Common Communication Barriers
  • (08:20) - Listening for Understanding
  • (10:57) - Using AI for Communication
  • (12:49) - Creating Psychological Safety
  • (15:25) - The Final Three Questions
  • (20:39) - Conclusion

Episoder(261)

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3. When Knowing Too Much Can Hurt Your Communication: How to Make Complex Ideas Accessible

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As communicators, we often need to take complex information (e.g., financial, technical, or scientific) and make it more understandable for our audience – we’re experts and they likely aren’t. But having so much knowledge on the topics we discuss can often make the job more difficult: we dive in too quickly, forget about our audience's needs, or use jargon that goes over their heads. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, strategic communications lecturers Matt Abrahams and Lauren Weinstein explore the “curse of knowledge” and offer specific techniques you can use to be more successful in getting your point across.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

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2. Communicating Our Multiple Selves: How to Effectively Manage Your Reputation

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How others perceive us in person and via social media can impact our careers and social standing. But we can build the reputation we want through conscious communication. On this podcast episode, strategic communication lecturers Matt Abrahams and Allison Kluger share techniques on effectively improving and managing your reputation.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

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1. Speaking Without a Net: How to Master Impromptu Communication

Most professional communication is spontaneous in nature: it’s providing feedback in the moment, answering questions, introducing people. On this podcast episode, Strategic Communication lecturer Matt Abrahams speaks with Stanford lecturers Adam Tobin and Dan Klein on how to become more comfortable and confident in in-the-moment speaking situations. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

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Join Matt Abrahams, lecturer in strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he sits down with experts from across the world to discuss public speaking anxiety, speaking off the cuff, nailing a Q&A, and more.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

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