Ask Uncut - My Husband Cheated, Brought Home An STI & Wants Forgiveness

Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your biggest (and sometimes smallest) life dilemmas!
Do you have a nickname that only some people can call you? Is it weird if someone you’re close with all of a sudden tries on a new nickname?
Britt has had a sleepover at Keeshia’s house and every sleep related recommendation she’s ever had has been completely validated.

Vibes for the week:
Laura - Back to Bilo Australian Story

Keeshia -Steel Blue Cap Boots

Britt - Amy Bradley Is Missing on Netflix

Then we jump into your questions
MY BF APPLIED AND GOT A JOB WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE - WHAT TO DO?
My partner is currently out of town and called me saying that he got this new amazing job, in a different city. It’s a 2 year contract. The application process took a few months and he did it all without telling me. He even flew to the city for an interview, telling me at the time it was a work trip. He expects me to come with him and thought I would be excited because the job is in my hometown and my parents and some friends still live there. However, I am not excited as I love my life in our current city. He promises that it’s only for 2 years and then we will move back. He told me he didn’t tell me not to “jinx” the process. Help. How do I navigate this upon his return? He is otherwise such a great guy but I am really hurt. He went behind my back and made this decision for us.

MY HUSBAND CHEATED, BROUGHT HOME AND STI AND WANTS FORGIVENESS
I have been with my partner for 5 years & we have a 1 year old. He is everything to me, I have never been happier in my life! I’m 38 years old but my partner just BLEW THINGS UP. He has told me that he has gonorrhoea and that I need to be tested. He went straight to asking forgiveness for what he was about to tell me. He said that I am his penguin but he is not fully satisfied in bed because he likes hard-core anal done to him and he never felt like he could ask me to do that as I have never expressed any of my tendencies. He paid to receive hard core anal multiple times during our relationship. He loves me and our family and assures me he is not homosexual and never wanted to hurt me. I am an open minded person, and think I could have "understood" his sexual tendencies and possibly would have even tried to pleasure him with toys and pegging had I known. I don't want to judge him for his sexual tendencies but I do not accept that he went to see someone and has put my health at risk! I am devastated and feel like I don't know if I could get over the fact that he had sex with someone else, let alone with a man. I love him dearly and feel completely lost! How can I get over this?? Can I forgive him ever? Will I ever want to pleasure him the way he likes? A middle ground would be great but I am not sure what middle ground is... HELP

THINK MY SISTER’S HUSBAND HIT ON ME
A few weeks ago I went to see a band. My sister was supposed to come but couldn’t, so her husband used the ticket instead. From the start, it felt like a “date”. He bought me a drink and was touching me on the back and shoulder throughout the night. When we got in the uber home he opened the door for me and was touching my knee/rubbing my thigh on the drive home. I froze and did nothing. It felt like he was ‘making the moves’. My sister and I are very close and they’ve been married for ages (decades). My sister has told me things have been rocky lately but from what I know their marriage is solid. Since then I’ve been avoiding them, but I can’t do that forever. I don’t want to carry this secret but I also don’t want to be responsible for ending their marriage. Do I confront him? Tell her? Also, I wonder if I’m making a big deal out of nothing since it wasn’t sexual touching but I obviously felt very uncomfortable. Help.

I DON'T WANT HUSBAND TO TELL HIS MUM WHEN I GO INTO LABOUR
Am I being unreasonable that I don’t want my husband to tell his mother when I’m going into labour? For context I really don't like her. She has proven herself to be untrustworthy in many scenarios. (E.g. begged to see my wedding dress and then proceeded to show people in her family before we got married amongst other things) and she also lies. I find her to be a dishonest and very annoying person so I don’t see why I need to disclose this information when she can just wait for us to tell her when the baby is here. She also messages my husband every day and I know it will just cause me anxiety if she’s constantly asking for updates. My husband thinks I’m being silly and is hurt. He feels like he can’t tell his mum when the time comes. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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