324. Why do we hold grudges?

324. Why do we hold grudges?

Why do some things sit heavy in our chest for weeks, months, even years - while others seem to slide right off? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of resentment, exploring why letting go can feel so hard, and what our grudges might actually be trying to tell us about ourselves. Grudges are often dismissed as petty or immature, but they’re rarely that simple. They’re emotional archives - stories we keep retelling in our minds, not just to stay angry, but to make sense of hurt, to assert boundaries, or to reclaim a sense of control. Whether it’s a betrayal from years ago or a passive-aggressive comment from last week, the feelings linger for a reason.

We explore:

• The psychological function of holding a grudge
• How rumination and memory shape emotional pain
• The role of power, justice, and unmet needs in long-term resentment
• How resentment harms us more than them
• Why forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting
• Tools for emotional processing and (maybe) letting go

If you want to get curious about what your lingering anger is pointing to, this episode is for you.

Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episoder(400)

375. The psychology of friendship trios

375. The psychology of friendship trios

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15 Jan 40min

374. The psychology of regret

374. The psychology of regret

In our 20s especially, the fear of regret can seem like every choice has the potential to ‘ruin’ our future - the degree we picked (or didn’t), the person we stayed with, the move we were too scared t...

12 Jan 25min

373. Why rest makes us feel so guilty

373. Why rest makes us feel so guilty

Modern life has a way of making rest feel suspicious. You can be exhausted, finally take a break, and still hear that nagging voice that you should be doing something more. Somewhere along the line, d...

11 Jan 32min

372. How to rediscover your personality

372. How to rediscover your personality

So many of us are coming to the realisation that we don't really know who we are anymore. We spend more time consuming other people's lives and personalities through a screen, than actually living out...

8 Jan 40min

371. The psychology of success

371. The psychology of success

What makes some people successful and others, not? Is it a singular trait, habits, or just luck? In this episode, we break down the psychology and research behind success and what drives successful in...

5 Jan 36min

370. Your year for doing less and achieving more

370. Your year for doing less and achieving more

At the start of every year, I choose a theme - not just goals, but a guiding philosophy. For 2026, that theme is doing less and achieving more. In this episode, we explore why focus beats busyness, wh...

1 Jan 31min

369. Answering your biggest 20s dilemmas ft. the listeners

369. Answering your biggest 20s dilemmas ft. the listeners

In our final guest episode for the year, we're hearing from the listeners! I asked you all to call in with the biggest dilemmas you've had in your 20s; questions you want answered, or just situations ...

29 Des 202542min

368. How to find your dream career in your 20s ft. George Appling

368. How to find your dream career in your 20s ft. George Appling

Find your dream job in your 20s is no easy feat, in fact your dream job probably doesn't exist, but you CAN determine what kind of career path is best for you based on your personality. Today we have ...

26 Des 202543min

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