Hard: Softening Expectations

Hard: Softening Expectations

Carson Tueller became paralyzed from the chest down after an accident in 2013. "I absolutely know that there is a sense of loss and grieving that comes when you lose physical function," he told Death, Sex, & Money, our colleagues at WNYC. "If you could previously have an erection and have penetrative sex with your partner in a really fulfilling way and you can't anymore, the grief and the loss from that is totally legitimate." However, Carson adds, "that doesn't have to mean that something's wrong with you. It just means it’s time to learn how to have sex differently."  In this final part of DSM's series Hard, we hear from Viagra users past and present whose ideas about sex have shifted—from being a goal-oriented pursuit to one that is much more about pleasure and acceptance.  This is the third episode of a three-part series. Listen to the first episode—about the impact of ED and Viagra on relationships—here, and the second episode—about the surprising origin story of the drug—here.

Episoder(150)

Sugar Babies Cost Me $8,000 And My Marriage

Sugar Babies Cost Me $8,000 And My Marriage

A few months ago, a listener we're calling Ethan sent us an email. The subject line was: "Sugar babies cost me $8,000 and my marriage."  Ethan told us that he hired sex workers from the website Seekin...

4 Mar 202031min

Maria Bamford Didn't Wait For It To Be Perfect

Maria Bamford Didn't Wait For It To Be Perfect

When comedian Maria Bamford moved to LA in her early 20s, she struggled to cover her food and rent as she was breaking into the comedy world. "Although I had a college degree, I just did not know how ...

26 Feb 202029min

Cancer Changed Ken Jeong's Comedy

Cancer Changed Ken Jeong's Comedy

Ken Jeong described his role as Mr. Chow in the 2009 blockbuster The Hangover as "the most obscene love letter to a spouse one could ever have.” He peppered his dialogue with bits of Vietnamese as an ...

19 Feb 202023min

No Slumping With Twyla Tharp

No Slumping With Twyla Tharp

Twyla Tharp's mother first put her in dance classes when she was a child living in Southern California. "I've always been highly programmed," Twyla told me. But when she got to New York and realized h...

12 Feb 202029min

Carmen Maria Machado Is Using The Word 'Abusive'

Carmen Maria Machado Is Using The Word 'Abusive'

When author Carmen Maria Machado was in her mid-20s, she had her first relationship with a woman. She was in graduate school at the time, and in the beginning, her ex made her feel special. "I just wa...

5 Feb 202032min

Who Are Your 'Quick And Deep' Friends?

Who Are Your 'Quick And Deep' Friends?

Last week, we partnered with the NPR podcast Code Switch to bring you two episodes all about race and friendship. If you haven’t heard those episodes yet, definitely go back, and take a listen to thos...

29 Jan 202013min

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