What if you could never be what they wanted? [Rebroadcast #246]

What if you could never be what they wanted? [Rebroadcast #246]

Always feeling she had failed the ideals of her strict Muslim, South Asian family and community, a woman struggles to navigate trauma, shame and self-expression, when unexpected news forces her into a powerful reckoning.


Today we bring you the seventh episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you could never be what they wanted?” originally aired as episode 246 on September 13, 2022.


Today‘s episode featured Azzah Ahmad. You can find out more about Azzah by visiting her Instagram page @Lifeazziknowit


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara Marinelli

Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse of a minor, suicidal ideation, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episoder(321)

136: What if you had to fight for your life?

136: What if you had to fight for your life?

“I did have the feeling that someone was gonna come back and do something horrible again after that.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditors: Nigel Coutinho, Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Terra Newell is ...

20 Aug 201940min

135: What if a minor procedure left you permanently altered?

135: What if a minor procedure left you permanently altered?

“My personhood had been shattered into a thousand pieces that I and my family were left to pick up one at a time.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After self-medicatin...

13 Aug 201943min

Season 9 Announcements

Season 9 Announcements

Announcements for Season 9 of This Is Actually Happening. Includes updates on the release schedule, the new This is Actually Happening store, and more. If you'd like to submit a design for a This Is A...

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134: What if your singular dream fell to pieces?

134: What if your singular dream fell to pieces?

“How could I allow myself to mourn what I had lost? Because if I mourned it, then it was like a death, and I couldn’t accept that the me that I knew had died.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: Whit Mi...

11 Jun 201939min

133: What if your life went up in flames?

133: What if your life went up in flames?

“All that traumatized people are really looking for is not a fix-it but more like a validation or acknowledgement that it matters.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: Nigel CoutinhoEpisode Summary: A wo...

28 Mai 201939min

132: What if you were kept from the one you loved most?

132: What if you were kept from the one you loved most?

“It’s interesting always having this void, knowing that you have something so wonderful that could love you so much and you could love so much that exists out there.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: ...

14 Mai 201929min

131: What if a psychotic break split your life wide open?

131: What if a psychotic break split your life wide open?

“I have a fear every single day am I going crazy and I don’t even know it? I didn’t know the things that I was doing and the things that I was saying were so extreme.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor:...

30 Apr 201931min

130: What if you had thoughts of harming those you love most?

130: What if you had thoughts of harming those you love most?

“People say you should always trust your gut feelings. But I couldn’t trust my gut feeling and I still can’t to this day, because to me a gut feeling is in turn thinking about hurting somebody else.” ...

16 Apr 201937min

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