SCP-8320: Seven Hundred Million Wizards
SCP Archives4 Sep 2025

SCP-8320: Seven Hundred Million Wizards

SCP-8320 is a phenomenon globally affecting all domestic cats. Even Biscuit, my adorable British Shorthair was affected. I didn't think anything could ever stop Biscuit. He's so full of energy and so affectionate. But then on the morning of June 4th he turned into this weird old wizard. "Axar the Lackadaisical".

Content Warnings: Drug Abuse, home invasion, explosion in public place, gun violence.

Transcript

Patrons May 11-20

Liv, Abfrog1, Damien Filla, Tara Severance, Codydownload, Joshua Downey, Paul Montgomery, Cpt. Odin, Braydon Morales, Eric Cottrell, Olivia, Emma Dishon, Jacob Hunter, Pup Leo, Phillip Connelly, Laura Martin, Jami Johnson, HAWK_6155, Daddyissues, Mykeythe_space, and Verc It!

Cast & Crew

SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz

SCP-8320 was written by Raddagher

SCP-1481 was written by UglyFlower

Script by Kevin Whitlock

Narrator - Jon Grilz

Mendez - Rissa Montañez

Command - Tanja Milojevic

Containment Lead - Kirsty Woolven

Barista - Hannah Schooner

Eric - Marquiz Moore

SCP-1481-1 - Jesse Hall

Lucian the Garroulus - Ben Counter

Thaddius the Nasty - Rhys Lawton

Axar the Lackadasical - Chris Harris-Beechy

Dr. Vimes - Elissa Park

Dr. He lit - Melissa Lusk

Willow - Erika Sanderson

Agent Ogg - Karim Kronfli

Dr. Weatherwax - Fay Roberts

Morgo the Magnificent - Vic Collins

Art - Eduardo Valdés-Hevia

Theme Song - Mattie Roi Berger

Original Music - Newton Schottelkotte

Dialogue Editor - Dustin Parsons

Sound Designer - Brad Colbroock

Showrunner - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

www.Bloody-Disgusting.com

www.SCParchives.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_pod

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives

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Discord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZX

Presented by Bloody FM

www.Bloody-Disgusting.com

www.SCParchives.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_pod

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

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Discord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZX

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchives

Newsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com


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