The Only Way to Win Back Your Wife After Breaking Her Trust

The Only Way to Win Back Your Wife After Breaking Her Trust

In this raw and essential episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz delivers the uncomfortable truths every man needs to hear after betraying his marriage. Drawing from his own journey through infidelity and the reconstruction of his marriage with Laura, Carl breaks down the exact roadmap that works - and exposes what doesn't. From why you should embrace lie detector tests to the power of having zero secrets, zero private conversations, and zero contact with anyone who threatens your marriage, this episode is a masterclass in accountability. Carl reveals why forgiveness took Laura three years to give (and why he didn't need it to do the work), the 24-hour grace period they instituted for catching lies, and why your response to her triggers determines everything. He shares the canned response that saved him: "I hear you, I'm sorry, I'm not going anywhere." Whether you're dealing with a full disclosure, learning patience proportional to your years of deception, or understanding why "water under the bridge" is permanently off limits, this episode provides the blueprint for men serious about redemption. Warning: This episode will challenge men who want reconciliation without radical transparency and may trigger those still hiding behind privacy in marriage.


Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/


Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/


Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana https://plana.org/


Chapters:


00:00 - Intro


00:49 - The Question Every Betrayer Asks

03:18 - What You CAN'T Do (Force, Heal, Convince)

05:44 - You're Not Looking For Forgiveness

08:01 - Laura: "It Took Me 3 Years To Forgive"

09:32 - The Full Disclosure Requirement

12:39 - Step 1: Be Honest About Everything

16:39 - The 24-Hour Grace Period For Lies

19:03 - Step 2: Zero Contact With The Qualifier

22:54 - God Behind Bars Partnership

28:41 - Step 3: No Private Conversations Ever

32:39 - Step 4: Patience With The Past (18-36 Months)

36:27 - Step 5: Extreme Grace When She's Triggered

39:55 - "I Hear You, I'm Sorry, I'm Not Going Anywhere"

42:07 - Plana.org Partnership

42:52 - Step 6: Live With Zero Secrets

49:27 - Why Lie Detectors Are Your Friend

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Episoder(109)

The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud

The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comSince Lights On started, we've been asked a lot of questions. Some out loud. Some in private messages. Some in the middle of a conversation ...

17 Aug 56min

How to actually change the climate of your home

How to actually change the climate of your home

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comThe Summer Shots series continues, and this week's shot is the simplest and hardest one yet. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura ge...

10 Aug 39min

How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel

How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comLast week Carl and Laura kicked off the Summer Shots series with the challenge to cut criticism for a full week. This week, they build on it...

3 Aug 32min

Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead)

Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead)

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comMost people have never been taught how to apologize. And the ones who have often learned to do it in a way that quietly protects themselves ...

27 Jul 48min

The alarm clock every marriage eventually hears

The alarm clock every marriage eventually hears

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comMost marriages don't fall apart in a single moment. They quietly erode under the weight of what nobody's willing to say out loud. In this ep...

20 Jul 48min

How to come back to each other after years of drift

How to come back to each other after years of drift

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comLast week Carl and Laura opened up the biggest question in marriage recovery: how do you stop being lonely in your marriage? This week, they...

13 Jul 44min

How to stop being lonely in your marriage

How to stop being lonely in your marriage

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comYou can be married and still lonely. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about one of the most under-talked-about realit...

6 Jul 54min

What Your Anger is Actually Trying to Tell You

What Your Anger is Actually Trying to Tell You

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comA listener wrote in with a question almost every betrayed spouse eventually wrestles with: I have every right to be angry, but I can feel it...

29 Jun 54min

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