Should You Fire Your Boyfriend?
IT Stress Relief21 Sep 2025

Should You Fire Your Boyfriend?

Today, Gena reflects on a unique question ‘Should you fire your boyfriend if they underperform?’. Drawing a parallel between professional and personal boundaries, Gena shares her own recent experiences with a toxic relationship. She candidly discusses the challenges of being the primary earner and caregiver, the emotional and financial burnout she experienced, and her journey to reclaiming her sense of self-worth. You can support us here: https://gofund.me/176cb5c7 KEY TAKEAWAYS Just as there are clear boundaries in a professional setting, we should have standards and boundaries for our personal relationships. A healthy relationship provides a positive "return on investment" (ROI) in three key areas: emotion, esteem, and energy. An unhealthy one results in a negative ROI. Manipulative individuals, like narcissists, will try to change your perception of reality and dismiss your concerns. Gena shares how an AI assistant helped her identify this behaviour. Success isn't always about career or financial achievements; sometimes, true success is the deep sense of peace and relief that comes from removing yourself from a stressful and unhealthy situation. BEST MOMENTS "How many of us actually have standards and boundaries when it comes to what type of relationships we are willing to accept as adequate and good from our boyfriends or girlfriends, spouses, and also friends?" "A healthy relationship provides a positive return on investment through mutual respect, support, and connection, while an unhealthy one can result in negative equity where you lose out on self-esteem, trust, and energy." "My cortisol most likely have been through the roof. I found that I was investing too much of my emotional energy trying to reason logically with a person who was never going to do that for me." "The whole in my financial and emotional bank was just getting bigger and bigger, 'til the point I think I just burned out, both financially and emotionally." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Episoder(35)

Navigating High-Functioning Burnout in Tech

Navigating High-Functioning Burnout in Tech

In this episode, Gena dives into the deceptive nature of high-functioning burnout, a form of exhaustion that doesn't look like collapse, but rather like peak competence. For IT professionals, this typ...

23 Feb 9min

Why IT Professionals Can’t Quit Crunch Culture

Why IT Professionals Can’t Quit Crunch Culture

In this episode, Gena dives deep into the psychological and physiological mechanics of ‘crunch culture’. Rather than viewing constant urgency as a simple scheduling error, Gena redefines it as a ‘thre...

16 Feb 10min

Why Soft Skills are Hard Systems Maintenance

Why Soft Skills are Hard Systems Maintenance

In this episode, Gena dives into the high-pressure world of ‘crunch culture’, those intense periods in IT where deadlines are compressed and stress becomes the background noise of life. Gena explores ...

9 Feb 9min

Healing Your Subconscious with Certified Hypnotherapist (non-medical) Michala

Healing Your Subconscious with Certified Hypnotherapist (non-medical) Michala

Today, Gena interviews Michala, a certified Hypnotherapist (non-medical), Beyond Quantum Healing practitioner, and inner transformation coach. Michala shares her journey from corporate burnout and chr...

26 Jan 53min

Is ‘Fawning’ Sabotaging Your Tech Career? How to Stop People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Voice

Is ‘Fawning’ Sabotaging Your Tech Career? How to Stop People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Voice

In this episode, Gena explores the often-overlooked stress response of ‘fawning’: a reflex to people-please and avoid conflict that silently erodes the resilience and clarity of tech professionals. Ge...

21 Jan 8min

The Real Secret to Achieving Your New Year's Resolutions: Aligning with Your Nervous System

The Real Secret to Achieving Your New Year's Resolutions: Aligning with Your Nervous System

In this episode, Gena delves into the reasons why New Year's resolutions often fail, particularly for IT professionals who are prone to overworking and burnout. She acknowledges that the root of these...

12 Jan 11min

Mastering the Art of Reframing in Challenging Situations

Mastering the Art of Reframing in Challenging Situations

In this episode, Gena delves into the powerful tool of reframing, a technique that allows individuals to view challenging situations from a healthier perspective. She illustrates how reframing can tra...

2 Des 20257min

Silencing Your Inner Critic: A Fun Technique to Combat Negative Self-Talk

Silencing Your Inner Critic: A Fun Technique to Combat Negative Self-Talk

In this episode, Gina delves into the impact of emotional investment in one's job and how it can lead to stress and burnout. Gina emphasises that it's not just the physical demands of work that contri...

26 Nov 202512min

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