The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

Episoder(932)

How to Make it in Hollywood (and everywhere else), Brian Grazer

How to Make it in Hollywood (and everywhere else), Brian Grazer

Brian Grazer is a Hollywood giant! He’s made more than 100 films including Splash, Apollo 13 and the best-picture-winning A Beautiful Mind. He tells Dan this week how he has used his own curiosity in others to build powerful relationships. He takes us back to when he was a law clerk at Warner Bros. delivering papers to the biggest names in Hollywood and how he was able to overcome personal obstacles to strike up conversations he would turn into connections. Grazer also discusses how he uses transcendental meditation to calm feelings of anxiety and fear. We also discuss his latest book, Face to Face: The Art of Human Connection, his secrets on how to engage with others, and the importance of eye contact is when it comes to building relationships. Plug Zone Face to Face: https://www.amazon.com/Eye-Contact-Power-Personal-Connection/dp/1501147722 A Curious Mind: http://www.grazeriscurious.com/ Social: @BrianGrazer An Evening with Joseph Goldstein and Dan Harris: Staying Sane in a Crazy World https://www.nyimc.org/event/an-evening-with-joseph-goldstein-and-dan-harris-staying-sane-in-a-crazy-world/ Dan’s Book Recommendations: https://www.tenpercent.com/reading Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

30 Okt 20191h 16min

Meditation, Therapy, and "Murderous Rage", Dr. Susan Pollak

Meditation, Therapy, and "Murderous Rage", Dr. Susan Pollak

Dr. Susan Pollak found refuge in meditation at a young age, introduced to it by a family member. Describing herself as an anxious and neurotic kid, she noticed how meditation offered her some relief. Pollak has remained fascinated with meditation ever since. She earned degrees in comparative religion and psychology, becoming a psychologist, and for decades she has been integrating the practice of mediation into psychotherapy. In her new book, “Self-Compassion for Parents,” she explains why parents need to care for themselves first in order to provide the best care for their children. For those short on time, she’s created meditation practices that take just a few minutes and she explains how even small moments of mindfulness can make a big difference. Plug Zone The Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy: http://meditationandpsychotherapy.org/ Center for Mindfulness and Compassion: https://www.chacmc.org/ The Art of Now Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-now Website: https://www.drsusanpollak.com/ Self-Compassion for Parents: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Parents-Nurture-Caring-Yourself/dp/1462533094 Additional Books: https://www.drsusanpollak.com/books.php Addiction-Related Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (Habit Change): https://www.brown.edu/public-health/mindfulness/people/judson-brewer-md-phd G. Alan Marlatt (Addictive Behaviors): http://depts.washington.edu/abrc/marlatt.htm Jessica Morey Inward Bound Mindfulness Education (iBme): https://ibme.com/ Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

23 Okt 20191h 28min

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series, Kristin Neff, PhD

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series, Kristin Neff, PhD

Life can be challenging. It’s comforting to have kind, supportive people around you to help you through it. Dr. Kristin Neff believes it’s equally important to cultivate a kind, supportive inner voice. In her last year of graduate school Neff was going through what she calls a messy divorce. Looking for a way to alleviate the strong feelings of stress and shame she was experiencing, she found meditation. Drawn to the integration of mindfulness and compassion practices, she was able to work through her emotional turmoil. She came to the realization that she deserved kindness and encouragement and she didn’t need to rely on anyone other than herself to fulfill those needs. That epiphany inspired her to spend the next several years of her life doing self-compassion work. Neff believes self-compassion is a trainable skill anyone can learn, even those who are not naturally inclined to be kind to themselves. She recently co-created a workbook that guides the reader through the practices of mindful self-compassion, hoping to help others experience the life-changing benefits of being kind to ourselves. Plug Zone Website: https://self-compassion.org/ Workbook: https://self-compassion.org/mindful-self-compassion-workbook/ Twitter: @self_compassion TED Talk: https://ed.ted.com/on/zhq011AI ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

16 Okt 20191h 35min

Doing Diversity Work Without Shame, Self-Compassion Series, Sydney Spears

Doing Diversity Work Without Shame, Self-Compassion Series, Sydney Spears

Dr. Sydney Spears is a professor at the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare and holds a PhD in Clinical Social Work from Smith College. As a woman of color, she tells us she has experienced layers of oppression and discrimination. Looking for a way to make sense of these experiences, and the difficult emotions she felt because of them, she became interested in meditation. Through her mindfulness practice she realized her identity did not need to be defined by the social constructs society often uses to discriminate. She found comfort in knowing that while she may not be able to control her external experiences, no one could affect her internal peace. Now she teaches the concept of mindful self-compassion to help others come to this same realization. Plug Zone Website: https://midlifeateasecounseling.com/ Twitter: @MidlifeAtEase Midwest Alliance for Mindfulness: https://mindfulness-alliance.org/ ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

9 Okt 20191h 49min

A Radical Approach to Productivity, Self-Compassion Series, Jocelyn K. Glei

A Radical Approach to Productivity, Self-Compassion Series, Jocelyn K. Glei

We are all guilty at times of taking on too much. Our guest this week, Jocelyn K. Glei, explains some of the benefits of taking a step back. She discusses the importance of slowing things down to prevent burnout and boost creativity. She’s written about maximizing potential and managing each day. Her most recent book is Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real Work Done. Plug Zone Website: https://jkglei.com/ Hurry Slowly Podcast: https://hurryslowly.co/ Course: https://reset-course.com/ Books: https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-K-Glei/e/B00BSX6EJE/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1 Twitter: @jkglei ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

2 Okt 20191h 33min

Finally... The Joseph Goldstein Episode

Finally... The Joseph Goldstein Episode

One of the first American Vipassana teachers and the co-founder of Insight Meditation Society, Joseph Goldstein, is a highly recognized name to many in western meditation. He has studied and practiced various forms of Buddhist meditation under world renowned teachers from India and he has led, and continues to lead, numerous insight and loving-kindness meditation retreats worldwide. Goldstein shares his abundance of knowledge on insight meditation, the confusion between attention and mindfulness, ethical frameworks and provides clarity on various terms such as the awakened mind, checking the attitude of the mind, in-order-to mind and more. Currently, Goldstein is a meditation teacher at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts as well as on the Ten Percent Happier app. He is also the author of numerous publications such as Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening and One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism. Plug Zone Insight Meditation Society: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/ Joseph Goldstein Courses & Meditations on the Ten Percent Happier App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/x9Q0TCy36Z New York Insight December 5th Event: https://www.nyimc.org/event/an-evening-with-joseph-goldstein-and-dan-harris-staying-sane-in-a-crazy-world/ Bonus Meditation: Be Simple & Easy: https://10percenthappier.app.link/6WVKqYJV6Z Jeff Warren November Meditation Retreat: https://jeffwarren.org/event/fidgetyskeptics-northcarolina-2/ ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

25 Sep 20191h 59min

Living on Overtime, David C. Fajgenbaum

Living on Overtime, David C. Fajgenbaum

David Fajgenbaum, a young, promising medical student, could not have imagined he would become a patient in the same hospital he was serving his residency. After being diagnosed with a very rare illness, he came close to death on multiple occasions. In the throes of one encounter, he promised himself that if he survived, he would make a difference in the fight against this disease. Through his research, he found a drug that he believes has helped him into remission. In the wake of his bouts, he has chosen to live his life "on overtime," time that he is extremely lucky to have, gifting him a unique perspective on living we can all learn from. Fajgenbaum is the Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Castleman Disease Collaborative Network and leads the Castleman Research Program at Penn Medicine. He is the author of Chasing My Cure which details his journey of going from a college athlete, living a healthy life to being diagnosed, and the hurdles he had overcome with love, determination and faith. Plug Zone Actively Moving Forward (AMF): https://healgrief.org/ The Castleman Disease Collaborative Network (CDCN): https://cdcn.org/ Book: https://chasingmycure.com/ Twitter: @DavidFajgenbaum Facebook: @davidfajgenbaum, https://www.facebook.com/davidfajgenbaum/ ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

18 Sep 20191h 10min

Love, Death, Tech and Psychedelics, Jack Kornfield, Meditation O.G.

Love, Death, Tech and Psychedelics, Jack Kornfield, Meditation O.G.

As far as meditation teachers go, they don't come more highly regarded than our guest this week, Jack Kornfield. Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West. You might think this meditation master is unflappable, but you would be mistaken. Kornfield discusses how he, one of the preeminent teachers in the field, still encounters difficult times, including how his marriage ended in divorce. He also delves into the role psychedelics play in the mindfulness movement. Plug Zone Website: https://jackkornfield.com/ Books: https://jackkornfield.com/books-audio-programs/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-wisdom-with-jack-kornfield/id923017416 Twitter: @JackKornfield Facebook: @jkornfield, https://www.facebook.com/jkornfield/ ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

11 Sep 20191h 24min

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