130 [S10 E2] "Whenever I fell, autism caught me": autism, intersex and gender

130 [S10 E2] "Whenever I fell, autism caught me": autism, intersex and gender

Deborah discovered they were autistic in their 60s, after a lifetime of not fitting in anywhere. Their sense of difference was not just social, but physical, as in their teens they were diagnosed with CAUV – congenital absence of uterus and vagina. Because of their then-undiagnosed autism, Deborah says they "always felt different anyway – I wasn't upset when I was diagnosed [with CAUV]; I thought it just made me extra-different." They have come to understand their condition as intersex and to identify as autigender.

Deborah is originally from the US, but has spent the last thirty years in Ireland, where they live with their husband. Deborah is an artist and writer, participating in worldwide exhibitions, writing short fiction collections and publishing anthologies of other writers. Deborah says: "Art is my world. It is my way of processing, regulating and making sense of life. I can't go a day without being in my studio."

In this conversation Deborah shares their journey of self-discovery and their lifelong experiences of feeling different and not fitting in. We talk about their childhood as an introspective, creative child, and the discovery of their congenital absence of a uterus and vagina (CAUV) at 16, their subsequent surgery and their exploration of gender identity as an intersex autistic person.

Deborah shares their path to self-acceptance and how understanding their autism has enabled them to reshape their self-perception.

Squarepeg is a podcast in which I talk to other late identified autistic women and nonbinary people about their lives, their autism journeys, and what they've learned along the way. I'm Amy Richards, and I was diagnosed autistic in 2016, when I was 37. I've been sharing my conversations with other autistic adults since 2020. I hope you'll find these conversations inspiring and thought provoking, and that they'll help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

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Episode links:

Website: https://deaborahrise.com/

If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on:

Website: https://squarepeg.community/

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THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!

A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:

Abi Hunter, Alex, Alex Lee, Alice Kemp, Amy Adler, Anika Lacerte, Anna Grojec, Annette, Annie, Anya Nebl, Aubrey Brand, B Martinez, Barbara, Basia, Becca Lee, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Beth Kelly Herbert, Caprice, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catherine, Catherine Paul, Cathy Oliver, C B, Charlotte Keen, Claire Gerard, Corinne Cariad, Corrine L. McDermid, Dana, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Danielle Wrench, Daphna Epstein, Deanna M. Counts Goldy, Deborah Cullinan, Dennis McNulty, E, Em, Emma Franks, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Mazow, Evgeniia Pupysheva, Ewan McNeill, Frederike, Galina, George Cole, H Arena, Hannah Breslin, Heather Peake, Helen Anne Hooker, Helen Delaney, Helen White, Holly Knight-Smith, India, Jackie Allen, Jaqueline Coursey, Jayne Hutchinson, Jenn W, Jo, Joanna McKnight, Julie, Julie Gillespie, Karen, Karin Parker, KatF, Kate and Kathryn, Katharine Richards, Katherine, Katherine Lowney, Katherine Meizel, Ken K, Kim Mortstock, Laura, Laura, Laurin Aman, Leisa Reichelt, Lilli Simmons, Lisa, Lisa Joy Powley, Lisa Williams, Liz, Lizzie, Lula Cork, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martha Everett, Meg c, MelissaS, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, Mindy Wigzell, Monica Toohey, NC, Nicola Neil, Pete Burke, Rebecca, Rebecca Biegel, Sadie Slater, Sandra Chapman, Sandy Klarsten, Sandy Ladkin, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Jeffrey, Sarah LW, Sarah Musgrave, Sarah Raine, Seth Williams, Shauna Schramke, Shelia Smith, Sophie King, Stefan Mundt, Talia's Nature,Tamsen Staniford, Tris, Vicki Temple, Victoria Jeffrey and Zans McLachlan.


If you're enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

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Episoder(160)

159 [S11 E14] From the inside out: autistic embodiment, burnouts and breakthroughs

159 [S11 E14] From the inside out: autistic embodiment, burnouts and breakthroughs

Victoria Gray is an artist and a coach to neurodivergent artists. She lives in York in the UK and was formally diagnosed as autistic in 2017, aged 34. Victoria has spent two decades making and perform...

8 Aug 1h 35min

158 [S11 E13] Listening to myself at last: autistic midlife, grief and new beginnings

158 [S11 E13] Listening to myself at last: autistic midlife, grief and new beginnings

Lucy Hogg was formally recognised as autistic in 2018. She describes her life as 'messy', impacted by PTSD from an accident and years of trying to convince therapists that she is autistic, as well as ...

25 Jul 1h 5min

157 [S11 E12] Talking to strangers: podcasting my way into a late autism discovery

157 [S11 E12] Talking to strangers: podcasting my way into a late autism discovery

Carolyn Kiel is the host of Beyond 6 Seconds, a multi-award-winning neurodiversity podcast. She started her podcast in 2018 as a general interest interview show, but in 2022 she shifted the focus to n...

18 Jul 1h 6min

156 [S11 E11] Coming home to myself: feeling 'good enough', unmasking and moving towards self love

156 [S11 E11] Coming home to myself: feeling 'good enough', unmasking and moving towards self love

Abs Lee is a carer, gardener and cleaner from Suffolk in the UK. Now 54, she was formally identified as autistic early in 2020, in the midst of the pandemic and lockdown. She's a parent to an AuDHD, q...

11 Jul 1h 6min

155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

Toni Borneo was formally recognised as autistic two years ago, at age 42 - something that has saved and completely changed her life. For her, the process of unmasking uncovered complex, long term ment...

4 Jul 1h 11min

154 [S11 E9] Finding a really cool rock: figuring out life and work without an 'autistic starter pack'

154 [S11 E9] Finding a really cool rock: figuring out life and work without an 'autistic starter pack'

Phoebe Taylor is a Canadian writer and artist whose work attempts to translate the experience of autism from the inside out. 'Fired from every job she ever had', she decided to explore self employment...

13 Jun 1h 13min

153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

Phoenix* is 44 and from The Netherlands. She has a PhD in philosophy and worked in academia for several years, before experiencing a severe burnout in her early thirties. Phoenix started seriously con...

6 Jun 1h 7min

152 [S11 E7] Sparkly things and heavy loads: autistic menopause, academia and lived experience

152 [S11 E7] Sparkly things and heavy loads: autistic menopause, academia and lived experience

Dr Rachel Mosely was halfway through her second postdoctoral job in autism research when she learnt that she herself had been suspected as being autistic as a child. After some investigation, she was ...

30 Mai 1h 8min

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