Career Transitions That Protect Your Mental Health: Keys to Fulfillment, Courageous Manager Conversations, and Job-Search Mindset with Michelle Schafer

00:03:17.880 --> 00:03:21.339 Avik Chakraborty: hello! And welcome to another episode of healthy mind, healthy life. 28 00:03:21.400 --> 00:03:26.900 Avik Chakraborty: where we explore the powerful connection between our mental and the physical well-being. 29 00:03:27.600 --> 00:03:33.620 Avik Chakraborty: I'm your host, Avik, and today we have a truly inspiring guest joining us. 30 00:03:33.740 --> 00:03:38.320 Avik Chakraborty: Yes, I'm talking about dive in Atlantic. So welcome to the show, Taiwan Wayne. 31 00:03:39.548 --> 00:03:42.409 Tywin Kalandyk: Thanks for having me, Eric. It's a nice it's good! Bingo! 32 00:03:42.900 --> 00:04:01.950 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah, lovely, lovely. So, tavin like, before we start our conversation, I would quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners that Kevin is not only a dedicated father of 5 and a loving husband, but he is also a seasoned fitness coach with over 15 years of experience. 33 00:04:02.390 --> 00:04:15.019 Avik Chakraborty: so he has helped thousands of men transform their lives, guiding them from fat to fit in just 90 days without the need for fat types or the guesswork. 34 00:04:16.180 --> 00:04:24.979 Avik Chakraborty: So Diamond's journey is nothing sort of remarkable, like from being born into a world of adversity, battling against the odds and eventually 35 00:04:25.420 --> 00:04:32.439 Avik Chakraborty: excelling in sports, earning a full ride scholarship to play division one football. 36 00:04:32.810 --> 00:04:35.899 Avik Chakraborty: But his journey didn't stop there. 37 00:04:36.410 --> 00:04:47.109 Avik Chakraborty: After discovering the corporate world wasn't his calling. He found his true passion into the fitness where he's made a lasting impact for over a decade. 38 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:58.779 Avik Chakraborty: So in today's episode, we will delve deep into the power of health and the fitness, exploring how it can fuel, not just your body, but your mind and the spirit as well. 39 00:04:59.460 --> 00:05:10.700 Avik Chakraborty: So he will share his insights on building a healthy lifestyle, overcoming the challenges and achieving the lasting transformation. So let's get started. Welcome to the show again. Diamond. 40 00:05:10.700 --> 00:05:11.390 Tywin Kalandyk: Thank you. 41 00:05:13.097 --> 00:05:29.379 Avik Chakraborty: So diamond like your journey has been incredibly inspiring. So from overcoming the early life challenges to excelling in sports and then transitioning into fitness. So how did your experiences shaped your approach to the health and fitness. 42 00:05:30.740 --> 00:05:49.649 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, absolutely. And again, thank you for having me on. I think you know, we all undergo certain circumstances and and scenarios growing up to kind of mold us inform us to to become who we are. They just look different. So for me it was being born a drug and alcohol addicted baby thrown 43 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:51.819 Tywin Kalandyk: straight into foster care. 44 00:05:52.162 --> 00:06:09.759 Tywin Kalandyk: And it was kind of trials and tribulations and ups and downs from the get go but I'm grateful for that, because that really taught me early on what life was like. And I think anybody that's listening to this understands life's a series of ups and downs and twirls and twists. 45 00:06:09.950 --> 00:06:32.975 Tywin Kalandyk: And it's how you handle those things that are really gonna dictate. The direction your life goes and your fitness journey is no different for most people. It's a it's a whirlwind of ups and downs and whirlwinds of figuring things out. But then, when you figure it out. And when you get an alignment the whole thing actually becomes really, really, 46 00:06:33.450 --> 00:06:36.090 Tywin Kalandyk: really simple to actually do believe it or not. 47 00:06:37.190 --> 00:06:46.574 Avik Chakraborty: Wow! That's that's real lovely. And so you coach men on how to go from fat to fit in 90 days without relying on fat diet. So 48 00:06:47.050 --> 00:06:48.950 Avik Chakraborty: what's the secret to 49 00:06:49.510 --> 00:06:52.750 Avik Chakraborty: creating such effective and sustainable transformations. 50 00:06:53.490 --> 00:06:57.359 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, sure. I think the very 1st step is getting uncomfortable. 51 00:06:57.719 --> 00:07:05.289 Tywin Kalandyk: Because when you're in a a state of being comfortable, people don't want to make the change needed, you know, cause it's 52 00:07:05.640 --> 00:07:18.479 Tywin Kalandyk: it feels good when you're comfortable. It's it's it's a good place to be so. 1st step is getting uncomfortable, and I do that just by even telling people you know, by saying fat to fit, I might say fat for a reason. I don't use overweight. 53 00:07:18.610 --> 00:07:23.220 Tywin Kalandyk: I don't use like these soft words, because words have meaning 54 00:07:23.380 --> 00:07:41.360 Tywin Kalandyk: and words have a way of moving us. So when you, when you even just hearing the word fat. It stinks. It's even hard sometimes when you 1st start saying the word fat, because you say well, I don't want to be rude, or I don't want to judge people or no, it's not about that. I'm not judging someone's character 55 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:45.050 Tywin Kalandyk: in all actuality. I'm just stating the truth. 56 00:07:45.230 --> 00:07:49.930 Tywin Kalandyk: but a lot of times we don't like hearing the truth. So the very 1st part is just 57 00:07:50.070 --> 00:07:55.709 Tywin Kalandyk: getting in a state of being uncomfortable. So you're willing to do the things needed. 58 00:07:55.710 --> 00:07:56.030 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 59 00:07:56.030 --> 00:08:05.030 Tywin Kalandyk: To see the changes, because it's not like the things needed are hard. It's just most people are very comfortable doing what they've been doing? 60 00:08:05.496 --> 00:08:08.870 Tywin Kalandyk: So I think that's the 1st step is getting them uncomfortable. 61 00:08:08.940 --> 00:08:13.939 Tywin Kalandyk: And then I I think the second step that happens pretty much right after that 62 00:08:14.508 --> 00:08:16.299 Tywin Kalandyk: is building the belief. 63 00:08:16.590 --> 00:08:18.580 Tywin Kalandyk: building the belief in yourself. 64 00:08:19.020 --> 00:08:26.270 Tywin Kalandyk: building the belief that you can get the results. And starting start immediately rewriting your story. 65 00:08:26.280 --> 00:08:29.400 Tywin Kalandyk: because we all have a story that we tell ourselves. 66 00:08:29.410 --> 00:08:31.080 Tywin Kalandyk: and unfortunately. 67 00:08:31.350 --> 00:08:33.370 Tywin Kalandyk: usually that story is 68 00:08:33.659 --> 00:08:37.799 Tywin Kalandyk: wrong. Usually that story is accumulation of 69 00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:47.650 Tywin Kalandyk: what your parents told you, growing up what your teachers told you, growing up all of these outside influences, and you just make them your own. 70 00:08:48.030 --> 00:08:52.609 Tywin Kalandyk: So it's time to kind of rewrite that. So those are probably the 1st 2 steps, and 71 00:08:52.800 --> 00:08:55.309 Tywin Kalandyk: give them the the biggest steps you need to take. 72 00:08:55.960 --> 00:08:57.170 Avik Chakraborty: Lovely, lovely. 73 00:08:57.350 --> 00:09:02.590 Avik Chakraborty: So many people struggle with finding those motivation to maintain a fitness, routine. 74 00:09:02.920 --> 00:09:03.760 Tywin Kalandyk: Beautiful. 75 00:09:04.086 --> 00:09:08.979 Avik Chakraborty: How do you help your clients, I mean, stay committed and motivated throughout their journey. 76 00:09:10.170 --> 00:09:17.540 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, absolutely. Great question. And that is something that's very common is, people have a hard time staying motivated. It's probably one of the 77 00:09:17.760 --> 00:09:21.540 Tywin Kalandyk: top. 5 questions I hear is, how do I stay motivated? Well. 78 00:09:21.560 --> 00:09:22.799 Tywin Kalandyk: here's the thing. 79 00:09:23.450 --> 00:09:27.589 Tywin Kalandyk: The reason you're not motivated is because you're not going for what you really want. 80 00:09:28.330 --> 00:09:40.780 Tywin Kalandyk: And when I say that a lot of times I'm like, Well, what are you talking about? I'm like, well, you you told me you wanted to lose 50 pounds, and that's what you're going for. But that's not what you really want. That's what you think you want. 81 00:09:40.810 --> 00:09:46.109 Tywin Kalandyk: Because if that was what you really wanted. I've never had a person lose the weight 82 00:09:46.180 --> 00:09:56.359 Tywin Kalandyk: and then walk around with a scale and stand on it in front of people and say, Hey, look how much weight I lost, and and then do it to the next person. Step on the scale and look how much weight I lost. It's not about the weight. 83 00:09:56.410 --> 00:10:11.130 Tywin Kalandyk: Maybe it's the confidence you wanted. Maybe you wanted to feel more. Affection from your spouse. Maybe you want people to respect you more. It wasn't the actual weight that you were going for. So once you get clear 84 00:10:11.410 --> 00:10:13.300 Tywin Kalandyk: on what you actually want 85 00:10:13.840 --> 00:10:15.550 Tywin Kalandyk: being motivated 86 00:10:15.630 --> 00:10:36.160 Tywin Kalandyk: is is, it's it's easy. It's it's something you're gonna do, naturally. And I like to tell, I like to use the example of. You know, I know we all have people that we love and we care about. And I know this is a little graphic. But I want, I want people to understand this like, imagine someone you love and you care about, and and you would do anything for. 87 00:10:36.490 --> 00:10:38.500 Tywin Kalandyk: and they get kidnapped. 88 00:10:38.910 --> 00:10:41.510 Tywin Kalandyk: and the people that kidnap them say, hey. 89 00:10:41.820 --> 00:10:47.150 Tywin Kalandyk: you need to come up with a hundred $1,000 in the next 72 h. 90 00:10:47.350 --> 00:10:50.210 Tywin Kalandyk: or you'll never see this person again. 91 00:10:51.060 --> 00:11:02.770 Tywin Kalandyk: even if you you have no idea you don't have that kind of money. You've never seen that kind of money. I guarantee you don't have to be motivated to go figure out how to get it 92 00:11:04.520 --> 00:11:10.000 Tywin Kalandyk: like, it's you do it naturally. And the reason you do it naturally, you're gonna figure it out is because. 93 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:10.650 Avik Chakraborty: Hmm. 94 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:21.400 Tywin Kalandyk: That's something you really want like this is someone you love and you care about. So you want to get them back. So you're willing to do whatever you don't need motivation to go, do what needs to be done. 95 00:11:22.180 --> 00:11:28.336 Avik Chakraborty: Very true, very true. It's it. It happens definitely. It happens so. 96 00:11:28.820 --> 00:11:30.126 Avik Chakraborty: And also 97 00:11:31.990 --> 00:11:36.400 Avik Chakraborty: you have been in the fitness industry for the over 15 years. So 98 00:11:37.110 --> 00:11:39.050 Avik Chakraborty: how have you seen 99 00:11:40.130 --> 00:11:47.540 Avik Chakraborty: the trends or the practices for the long term? Success in the industry. 100 00:11:49.260 --> 00:11:50.770 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, awesome question. 101 00:11:51.317 --> 00:11:58.099 Tywin Kalandyk: So unfortunately, I wish I could say we've made, you know, leaps and bounds, and everything's getting better. And 102 00:11:58.330 --> 00:12:04.639 Tywin Kalandyk: honestly, I don't think it is, and and here's why I say that there's more gyms now than there's ever been. 103 00:12:04.850 --> 00:12:05.180 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 104 00:12:05.180 --> 00:12:12.129 Tywin Kalandyk: There's more different fitness facilities than there's ever been. There's more information out there than it's ever been. 105 00:12:12.350 --> 00:12:14.520 Tywin Kalandyk: And I think one of the problems is 106 00:12:14.890 --> 00:12:18.119 Tywin Kalandyk: we're we're chasing down instant gratification. 107 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:18.520 Avik Chakraborty: Right. 108 00:12:18.520 --> 00:12:21.970 Tywin Kalandyk: You know, when I say instant gratification. People are looking for 109 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:27.219 Tywin Kalandyk: the quick fix, the new gadget, the new thing, the new Gizmo. 110 00:12:27.460 --> 00:12:37.630 Tywin Kalandyk: and it's not the gadget, the gizmo, or the thing that's gonna make the long term lasting change. That doesn't mean the gadget or the gizmo or the diet doesn't work. 111 00:12:37.690 --> 00:12:39.240 Tywin Kalandyk: but that alone won't 112 00:12:39.370 --> 00:12:42.919 Tywin Kalandyk: work. It really starts with 1st and foremost, like 113 00:12:43.110 --> 00:12:59.650 Tywin Kalandyk: getting your mind right, getting your beliefs right? Getting your programming right? Otherwise you're never gonna stick to the diet, the workout, whatever it is you're trying to do. So it really starts internally, and I think a lot of 114 00:13:01.190 --> 00:13:10.509 Tywin Kalandyk: trainers and coaches out there. They don't understand that aspect of it. So they're able to get their clients results temporarily. 115 00:13:11.030 --> 00:13:14.800 Tywin Kalandyk: But long term, I think that's where we kind of struggle. 116 00:13:16.180 --> 00:13:16.920 Avik Chakraborty: Understood. 117 00:13:19.640 --> 00:13:24.739 Avik Chakraborty: So that's really awesome answer, and and also at the same time. 118 00:13:25.362 --> 00:13:44.220 Avik Chakraborty: so on. Healthy matter, healthy life. When we're talking about this, and also mental health is very closely tied up with physical health. So how do you incorporate the mental wellness into your fitness programs, I mean, and also at the same time, why do you believe that this is so important. 119 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.999 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, absolutely have it, man, you have some great questions. 120 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:48.454 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 121 00:13:48.910 --> 00:13:49.410 Tywin Kalandyk: Say 122 00:13:51.190 --> 00:13:53.870 Tywin Kalandyk: I would say. 1st of all, it's it's it's 123 00:13:54.100 --> 00:14:01.890 Tywin Kalandyk: it's so important, it's it's so important. Because if cause, whatever is happening, internal is just going to be expressed externally. 124 00:14:01.890 --> 00:14:02.630 Avik Chakraborty: Hmm. 125 00:14:02.630 --> 00:14:10.800 Tywin Kalandyk: And I think a lot of times we don't. We don't realize that I don't know if it's because we're not taught that I I don't know but whatever's going on on the inside, it's gonna be expressed on the outside. 126 00:14:11.040 --> 00:14:19.070 Tywin Kalandyk: And so it's definitely important. So for me, I use a lot of visualization. I think it's super important to visualize 127 00:14:19.803 --> 00:14:21.439 Tywin Kalandyk: and there's a lot of different ways. 128 00:14:21.520 --> 00:14:24.219 Tywin Kalandyk: You could do this. Some people visualize and 129 00:14:24.540 --> 00:14:28.130 Tywin Kalandyk: and start thinking about the future self. Some people use affirmations. 130 00:14:28.866 --> 00:14:32.279 Tywin Kalandyk: Some people use meditations sometimes just sitting alone 131 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:34.789 Tywin Kalandyk: in a room by yourself 132 00:14:35.160 --> 00:14:37.180 Tywin Kalandyk: and just thinking of your thoughts. 133 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:40.030 Tywin Kalandyk: and then deciding like, are these my thoughts. 134 00:14:40.100 --> 00:14:43.980 Tywin Kalandyk: or are these someone else's thoughts? Do these thoughts serve me. 135 00:14:44.060 --> 00:14:46.000 Tywin Kalandyk: or do they hinder me? 136 00:14:46.861 --> 00:14:54.659 Tywin Kalandyk: So different things like this are super important. I remember, you know I was reading. They did a study. They did a Harvard study, and they took 3 groups of people. 137 00:14:54.930 --> 00:14:58.390 Tywin Kalandyk: I don't know if India over there, you guys play any basketball or not. But 138 00:14:58.450 --> 00:15:02.389 Tywin Kalandyk: they did a study of 3 groups of people. We had them shoot free throws 139 00:15:02.590 --> 00:15:07.379 Tywin Kalandyk: one group actually practice every single day and shot free throws 140 00:15:07.450 --> 00:15:13.100 Tywin Kalandyk: the second group of people. They didn't practice at all. The 3rd group of people. 141 00:15:13.410 --> 00:15:23.600 Tywin Kalandyk: They didn't actually, physically practice. They just did mental practice so they would replay themselves shooting free throws in their head. But they didn't actually, physically do it. 142 00:15:23.950 --> 00:15:27.920 Tywin Kalandyk: The 1st group that did actually practice got better 143 00:15:28.250 --> 00:15:31.760 Tywin Kalandyk: the second group that didn't practice at all. 144 00:15:31.970 --> 00:15:34.910 Tywin Kalandyk: They didn't get any better matter of fact, they actually got worse. 145 00:15:35.130 --> 00:15:36.860 Tywin Kalandyk: The 3rd group 146 00:15:36.900 --> 00:15:48.220 Tywin Kalandyk: that only did the mental practice that didn't actually physically practice, they actually improved just as much as the group that actually physically practiced. 147 00:15:48.660 --> 00:16:04.599 Tywin Kalandyk: So that shows like, just how important having your your mindset in alignment with your physical body, because it's your mindset. It's it's it's what happens up here that controls what happens on the outside, anyway. 148 00:16:05.160 --> 00:16:07.220 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah, exactly. 149 00:16:08.880 --> 00:16:10.046 Avik Chakraborty: Oh, so 150 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:15.600 Avik Chakraborty: what are some of the common myths about? Fitness and 151 00:16:15.760 --> 00:16:20.009 Avik Chakraborty: health? Do you encounter most often, I mean. 152 00:16:20.500 --> 00:16:21.920 Avik Chakraborty: if you can share a bit. 153 00:16:23.170 --> 00:16:25.139 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah. Oh, man. 154 00:16:25.220 --> 00:16:27.760 Tywin Kalandyk: where to start with this one. There's a bunch 155 00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:29.410 Tywin Kalandyk: a big 156 00:16:29.934 --> 00:16:40.269 Tywin Kalandyk: let's start with this one. I think a lot of people think exercise is the answer. And I'm a big exercise guy. I love the gym I love exercising. I think people should exercise. 157 00:16:40.290 --> 00:16:41.470 Tywin Kalandyk: However. 158 00:16:42.070 --> 00:16:49.660 Tywin Kalandyk: that's not the thing that's gonna save the day. And I say that because it's way easier for us to eat less calories 159 00:16:49.770 --> 00:16:52.259 Tywin Kalandyk: than it is for us to burn them off. 160 00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:54.210 Tywin Kalandyk: For example. 161 00:16:54.781 --> 00:17:00.420 Tywin Kalandyk: Let me kind of just give you an example. So in order to burn 500 calories 162 00:17:00.460 --> 00:17:03.030 Tywin Kalandyk: doing physical exercise. 163 00:17:03.100 --> 00:17:06.649 Tywin Kalandyk: you would have to do a thousand burpees 164 00:17:06.819 --> 00:17:07.680 Tywin Kalandyk: right 165 00:17:07.970 --> 00:17:15.950 Tywin Kalandyk: in order to take away 500 calories through food. It's equivalent to roughly, like a big Mac. 166 00:17:16.510 --> 00:17:21.179 Tywin Kalandyk: So would you rather not eat the Big Mac, or would you rather go do a thousand burpees? 167 00:17:21.540 --> 00:17:31.669 Tywin Kalandyk: So I think that's a big misunderstanding in the fitness. Industry is terms of people run to fitness? And they think that's the answer. Does that help? Yes, of course. 168 00:17:31.970 --> 00:17:35.149 Tywin Kalandyk: But I think what you eat is is more. 169 00:17:35.510 --> 00:17:37.499 Tywin Kalandyk: I think, another big thing. 170 00:17:38.380 --> 00:17:39.280 Tywin Kalandyk: Myth is. 171 00:17:39.730 --> 00:17:43.250 Tywin Kalandyk: there's all these fad diets and things people do that 172 00:17:43.460 --> 00:17:45.979 Tywin Kalandyk: try to take things out, whether it's 173 00:17:46.080 --> 00:17:50.200 Tywin Kalandyk: no carbs or no sugar or 174 00:17:50.260 --> 00:17:55.620 Tywin Kalandyk: carnivore, or paleo, or intermittent fasting. 175 00:17:56.260 --> 00:18:01.620 Tywin Kalandyk: You don't have to do all that. It's not necessary if I mean, if you want to, if that fits your lifestyle. 176 00:18:01.780 --> 00:18:05.919 Tywin Kalandyk: But these aren't things you have to do to lose weight. Matter of fact. 177 00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:09.319 Tywin Kalandyk: I think most of the time it distracts people 178 00:18:09.350 --> 00:18:15.109 Tywin Kalandyk: because it's not what they ordinarily do so. Now they have to go learn a new thing. 179 00:18:15.470 --> 00:18:18.330 Tywin Kalandyk: and then not only learn that new thing 180 00:18:18.510 --> 00:18:25.040 Tywin Kalandyk: they have to consistently do this new thing that's odd and weird to them. 181 00:18:25.320 --> 00:18:26.810 Tywin Kalandyk: Instead of 182 00:18:27.590 --> 00:18:30.949 Tywin Kalandyk: continue eating exactly what you're eating. 183 00:18:31.180 --> 00:18:33.140 Tywin Kalandyk: Just eat less of it. 184 00:18:35.990 --> 00:18:37.020 Avik Chakraborty: That's 185 00:18:37.260 --> 00:18:46.819 Avik Chakraborty: that's simply lovely. I'd say, yeah. And also, at the same time for someone who I mean just starting their fitness journey. So 186 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.299 Avik Chakraborty: what's the most important piece of advice? Would you give them. 187 00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:52.500 Tywin Kalandyk: Sure. 188 00:18:53.226 --> 00:18:54.759 Tywin Kalandyk: Get clear on your goals. 189 00:18:54.810 --> 00:19:04.120 Tywin Kalandyk: Well, let me let me take that back. Now get clear on your goals. Get clear of where you're going in your end. Result. So what do you want? 190 00:19:04.740 --> 00:19:12.479 Tywin Kalandyk: And this is this is the part. Everybody skips as much as I tell people they want to skip this. They're like, yeah, yeah, I got it. I just want to lose weight. No, no, no, no! 191 00:19:12.840 --> 00:19:13.920 Tywin Kalandyk: Sit down. 192 00:19:14.420 --> 00:19:16.439 Tywin Kalandyk: Where do you want to go. 193 00:19:16.520 --> 00:19:21.950 Tywin Kalandyk: What does that look like? Most people say? Oh, I want to lose 30 pounds. Great! 194 00:19:22.080 --> 00:19:24.030 Tywin Kalandyk: Why do you want to lose 30 pounds? 195 00:19:25.070 --> 00:19:27.270 Tywin Kalandyk: How is that going to change your life. 196 00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:36.780 Tywin Kalandyk: How is that? How is that gonna impact the future? You 5 years from now, 10 years from now, how is that gonna impact your wife. 197 00:19:37.010 --> 00:19:43.309 Tywin Kalandyk: How will that change your relationship with your kids? And you, you start forming this mental picture 198 00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:48.059 Tywin Kalandyk: around how losing what you thought was just 30 pounds 199 00:19:48.130 --> 00:19:52.379 Tywin Kalandyk: is gonna change everything you start realizing like, Wow. 200 00:19:52.460 --> 00:19:54.349 Tywin Kalandyk: if I lose 30 pounds. 201 00:19:54.520 --> 00:20:13.619 Tywin Kalandyk: I'm gonna have more energy, which is, gonna allow me to be more productive at work, which is, gonna allow me to make more money, which is gonna allow, you know, the intimacy between me and my wife to get greater in in all of these areas now are starting to get better and change. It's not just the 30 pounds. 202 00:20:13.900 --> 00:20:14.310 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 203 00:20:14.310 --> 00:20:26.489 Tywin Kalandyk: Now you're excited. Now you're ready to go. Do whatever it takes to lose the weight, because you understand your life is gonna change on a very, very big scale. 204 00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:34.099 Tywin Kalandyk: not just on an actual little digital scale that you step on. There's no excitement from that. Nobody gets. 205 00:20:34.420 --> 00:21:02.440 Tywin Kalandyk: There's no excitement that comes from stepping on a scale like we don't have that. But if you knew like, if you go to the gym and eat healthier, your relationship with your wife is gonna hit levels that it's never hit before your relationship with your kids is gonna be better than it's ever been before. You're gonna make more money. People are. Gonna look at you different. You're gonna become a leader like all these different things you're like. Oh, well, then, going to the gym seems like a no brainer. Why wouldn't you do that? 206 00:21:03.280 --> 00:21:04.010 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 207 00:21:05.390 --> 00:21:06.660 Avik Chakraborty: love it. Yeah. 208 00:21:07.940 --> 00:21:10.970 Avik Chakraborty: So before we wrap, looking ahead. 209 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:20.540 Avik Chakraborty: what are your goals and the aspirations in the fitness industry? And how do you plan to continue helping people transform their lives. 210 00:21:21.630 --> 00:21:22.870 Tywin Kalandyk: Yeah, absolutely. 211 00:21:23.130 --> 00:21:28.070 Tywin Kalandyk: So for me, you know the reason I got started in this industry, you know. I watched my dad 212 00:21:28.320 --> 00:21:30.980 Tywin Kalandyk: struggle with weight. His whole life. 213 00:21:31.020 --> 00:21:38.379 Tywin Kalandyk: I watched him go from diet to diet, and every time he started a new diet he would be excited at first, st 214 00:21:38.840 --> 00:21:48.290 Tywin Kalandyk: but then the more diets. I seen him try. I started noticing he would lose a little bit of himself every single time he would get discouraged. He would get 215 00:21:49.100 --> 00:21:54.229 Tywin Kalandyk: you could just. You could just see it was draining him, and I think it was just honestly, because he felt like a failure. 216 00:21:54.340 --> 00:21:56.899 Tywin Kalandyk: and to the point where he actually quit 217 00:21:56.910 --> 00:22:00.259 Tywin Kalandyk: and just stop. And he said, This is how it's supposed to be 218 00:22:00.690 --> 00:22:05.579 Tywin Kalandyk: so. At that point I watched him go through the phases of diabetes, high blood pressure. 219 00:22:06.790 --> 00:22:08.150 Tywin Kalandyk: Heart issues. 220 00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:14.139 Tywin Kalandyk: until eventually, you know, he lost his life to this battle of obesity. 221 00:22:14.270 --> 00:22:21.610 Tywin Kalandyk: and from that moment, right there I made a decision that 1st of all, I would be the type of man that I would never do this to my kids. 222 00:22:21.730 --> 00:22:23.980 Tywin Kalandyk: and again cause my dad was my hero. 223 00:22:24.330 --> 00:22:25.680 Tywin Kalandyk: He was my hero. 224 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:28.450 Tywin Kalandyk: and I lost him when I was 20. 225 00:22:28.530 --> 00:22:31.950 Tywin Kalandyk: I didn't want to do that with my kids, so when I figured this whole thing out. 226 00:22:31.970 --> 00:22:39.070 Tywin Kalandyk: It only felt right, you know, to give that back and show other people what's possible. Show other men what's possible. 227 00:22:39.350 --> 00:22:44.470 Tywin Kalandyk: So why do I do what I do. That's why I do what I do, because I think a lot of people don't understand 228 00:22:44.610 --> 00:22:46.080 Tywin Kalandyk: the hindrance 229 00:22:46.470 --> 00:22:51.160 Tywin Kalandyk: that weight puts on your life. The hindrance that being 230 00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:55.540 Tywin Kalandyk: fat puts on your life, not just for you. 231 00:22:55.740 --> 00:22:57.040 Tywin Kalandyk: your family. 232 00:22:57.080 --> 00:22:58.230 Tywin Kalandyk: your wife. 233 00:22:58.320 --> 00:22:59.660 Tywin Kalandyk: your kids. 234 00:23:00.140 --> 00:23:01.470 Tywin Kalandyk: It's not worth it. 235 00:23:01.670 --> 00:23:03.060 Tywin Kalandyk: It's just not worth it. 236 00:23:03.280 --> 00:23:08.620 Tywin Kalandyk: So it's worth it to take those steps. So my goal is to help as many men as I possibly can. 237 00:23:09.192 --> 00:23:13.949 Tywin Kalandyk: Just be released from this burden of dealing with weight, and 238 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:19.149 Tywin Kalandyk: just all the struggles that come with it, and just having them experience 239 00:23:20.010 --> 00:23:24.179 Tywin Kalandyk: what it's like to be an absolutely phenomenal shape. 240 00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:28.560 Tywin Kalandyk: And the beautiful thing is, you know, we have this thing we call the Internet. 241 00:23:28.600 --> 00:23:37.540 Tywin Kalandyk: which allows me to to help and impact people all over the world. It does. They don't have to, you know, before had to be someone that lived local. 242 00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:39.260 Tywin Kalandyk: But you know now. 243 00:23:39.645 --> 00:23:41.710 Tywin Kalandyk: I've made friends all over the world. 244 00:23:41.980 --> 00:23:42.690 Avik Chakraborty: And. 245 00:23:42.900 --> 00:23:45.069 Tywin Kalandyk: So it doesn't. I'm I'm no longer 246 00:23:45.220 --> 00:23:51.120 Tywin Kalandyk: limited to just my area. So just my in my goal is to impact as many men as I can around the world. 247 00:23:52.370 --> 00:23:54.650 Avik Chakraborty: Hmm! Perfect, perfect, lovely. 248 00:23:54.690 --> 00:24:10.200 Avik Chakraborty: great. So thank you, Diamond, for sharing your wisdom and the experiences with us today. Your journey from overcoming the the odds to becoming a beacon of transformation for so many is truly inspiring. 249 00:24:10.990 --> 00:24:22.860 Avik Chakraborty: and for the listeners I love to mention that always remember that the path to a healthier and the happier life begins with the 1st step, and it's never too late to that start. 250 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:34.980 Avik Chakraborty: So if you are ready to fill your best self and take control of your health and the fitness. Be sure to check out Ivan's programs and connect with him for guidance on your journey. 251 00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:48.940 Avik Chakraborty: So until next time, keep nurturing your mind, body, and the spirit, and remember that health is wealth. We all have heard this right, so health is wealth. So thanks for tuning in to healthy man and healthy life have a great day ahead.

10 Aug 202421min

In this powerful episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik Chakraborty welcomes Martina Gruppo, a newly published English author whose memoir sheds light on her decades-long entanglement with a covert narcissist. Martina shares her deeply personal journey of overcoming immense challenges, including infertility, cancer, and the psychological scars left by an abusive relationship. Through the transformative power of writing, Martina found not only peace but also the strength to reclaim her life. Join us as we explore how reliving trauma through storytelling can lead to healing and self-empowerment, offering hope and inspiration to those facing similar battles.----more----   00:04:05.370 --> 00:04:17.210 Avik Chakraborty: Hello! And welcome to another episode of healthy mind, healthy life, where we explore the deep and often difficult journeys of healing, resilience and self discovery. 52 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:26.900 Avik Chakraborty: I'm your host, awick. And today we are diving into the transmitive power of writing as a tool for overcoming the trauma. 53 00:04:27.180 --> 00:04:29.750 Avik Chakraborty: Our guest today is Martina 54 00:04:29.820 --> 00:04:31.499 Avik Chakraborty: so welcome to the show, Martina. 55 00:04:31.760 --> 00:04:34.749 Martina Gruppo: Hi, thank you very much for having me as a guest. 56 00:04:35.380 --> 00:04:42.139 Avik Chakraborty: Lovely, lovely, so, Martina, like, before we start our conversation today, I would quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners that 57 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:54.663 Avik Chakraborty: the listeners. Martina is a newly published English author who has courageously shared her life story in her memoir. So her book Details 58 00:04:55.200 --> 00:05:01.309 Avik Chakraborty: the Decades she spent entangled with a covert narcissist. 59 00:05:01.330 --> 00:05:08.519 Avik Chakraborty: revealing how a lack of boundaries made her a prime target for this kind of abuse. 60 00:05:08.840 --> 00:05:23.189 Avik Chakraborty: So, despite facing the immense challenges from the infertility and the cancer to the psychological scars of an abusive relationships. Martina has continually 61 00:05:23.480 --> 00:05:24.300 Avik Chakraborty: big 62 00:05:24.490 --> 00:05:28.040 Avik Chakraborty: posted up and found the new strength. 63 00:05:28.870 --> 00:05:39.880 Avik Chakraborty: So she now lives south of Rome, running a successful B, 2 B teaching English online and managing a thriving airbnb. 64 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:49.290 Avik Chakraborty: It's really awesome, right? So her story is one of the humor, heartbreak, and ultimately healing. 65 00:05:50.240 --> 00:06:04.079 Avik Chakraborty: So join us as we explore how, relieving her trauma through writing, not only brought Martina peace, but also empowered her to reclaim her life. So, without further ado, welcome again to the show. Martina. 66 00:06:04.420 --> 00:06:10.816 Martina Gruppo: Okay, thank you. That's quite an introduction. Thank you very much. 67 00:06:13.539 --> 00:06:14.199 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 68 00:06:14.630 --> 00:06:17.860 Martina Gruppo: So. Yes, sorry. Sorry. Sorry I didn't. 69 00:06:17.860 --> 00:06:27.140 Avik Chakraborty: Okay. So so, Martina, like I, I was reading your bio, and from there I have 2 things in my mind. So I thought like, I'll I'll I'll quickly 70 00:06:27.670 --> 00:06:46.759 Avik Chakraborty: discuss this while we are on the show. So so your memoir is deeply, deeply personal, and the raw so if you can share what initially inspired you to start writing about your experiences with the covert night narcissist. 71 00:06:48.039 --> 00:07:02.889 Martina Gruppo: Well, for me it was. It was a way of explaining what had happened, and initially I wasn't even interested in writing a book. It started out as a blog. A pretty angry 72 00:07:03.740 --> 00:07:32.149 Martina Gruppo: you know, an a an angry insight insightful because it was an also very present book that a blog that I was writing because I needed to try and understand what I'd actually been through for previous decade. And indeed, you know the time before that, and it started. It started out as just a way of writing down things, you know. Is this what happened? And then sort of seeing it for what it really was. 73 00:07:32.150 --> 00:07:45.829 Martina Gruppo: and the writing was helping me. I think I wrote about it in the book, see through, see things almost clearly. It was as if I was speaking another language. I was starting to understand what had actually happened to me. 74 00:07:46.210 --> 00:07:48.370 Martina Gruppo: and it was horrible. 75 00:07:48.380 --> 00:07:53.360 Martina Gruppo: really traumatic, because everything that you believe. 76 00:07:53.570 --> 00:07:53.970 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 77 00:07:53.970 --> 00:08:02.519 Martina Gruppo: That you had believed in for your entire life. Suddenly you see through, you see it clearly, and you see what it really is. 78 00:08:02.530 --> 00:08:28.070 Martina Gruppo: And gradually I through the writing I was expressing myself, and I was going through. It's like looking. I guess it's like looking at an album of photographs. Very old photographs and looking at them and thinking, Oh, gosh! I didn't remember. Oh, no, now I remember that. But you see something more clearly. I mean, it's not as pleasant as looking at photographs, because obviously the real, the realistic situation is that 79 00:08:29.190 --> 00:08:35.309 Martina Gruppo: is that what you thought you were living through was a lie basically. 80 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:37.659 Avik Chakraborty: Understood. Understood. 81 00:08:38.070 --> 00:08:40.986 Avik Chakraborty: So okay. And and 82 00:08:42.380 --> 00:08:45.643 Avik Chakraborty: also, when we're talking about this. So 83 00:08:47.758 --> 00:08:56.061 Avik Chakraborty: writing often, I mean, writing can often be a kind of carthratic process. Right? So 84 00:08:56.870 --> 00:09:06.249 Avik Chakraborty: how did revisiting such painful memories impact you emotionally while you writing your book. 85 00:09:06.880 --> 00:09:16.469 Martina Gruppo: Well, it was interesting, because when I decided to actually write, start writing the book, I went right back to the very, very beginning of us, if you like, because. 86 00:09:16.670 --> 00:09:29.910 Martina Gruppo: you know, it seems to be very one sided when I was writing the book, but sorry when I was writing the blog. I was lashing out when I wrote the book. I had to start from a completely different perspective, because otherwise 87 00:09:30.280 --> 00:09:50.989 Martina Gruppo: how could anybody be convinced? In the same way I was convinced by him, unless they could see what I saw from the very beginning. So, even though it was painful to revisit that time, I had to show the reader why I fell for somebody like him. So that cathartic process started happening at the 88 00:09:51.560 --> 00:09:58.440 Martina Gruppo: very slowly at the beginning of writing the book because I had to describe who I was, and I guess 89 00:09:58.790 --> 00:10:11.160 Martina Gruppo: I guess in some way you take on a certain amount of responsibility because of the fact that you have lower boundaries, and that's the way they get in. When I say they, I mean sort of a narcissistic 90 00:10:11.220 --> 00:10:14.999 Martina Gruppo: person can invigo themselves into your life. 91 00:10:15.260 --> 00:10:23.919 Martina Gruppo: but there has to be a certain amount of allowance, because you have such low boundaries. Do you see what I mean? You know, in terms of 92 00:10:24.630 --> 00:10:46.600 Martina Gruppo: not being able to say no, not being, you know, being swayed by guilt, being open to brainwashing, emotional brainwashing in a way, I think you know. That's that's what happens. But you have to show the reader from the very start how and why you fell for such a thing, because it's almost unbelievable as you work your way through it. 93 00:10:47.640 --> 00:10:50.609 Avik Chakraborty: Exactly. That's very, very true. Yeah, yeah. 94 00:10:51.220 --> 00:11:07.379 Avik Chakraborty: And also at the same time, like you mentioned that the process of writing helped you establish those boundaries. So if you can also talk about this experience like shifted your ability to say no when something didn't feel right. 95 00:11:08.750 --> 00:11:12.719 Martina Gruppo: Yeah, that's that's I have to say, that's a work in progress. 96 00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:14.520 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah. 97 00:11:14.520 --> 00:11:15.910 Martina Gruppo: The very beginning. 98 00:11:15.910 --> 00:11:16.410 Avik Chakraborty: Hmm. 99 00:11:16.410 --> 00:11:41.450 Martina Gruppo: When when you're susceptible to this kind of abuse, I think it's because you tend to be a people pleaser, you want everything to be right, and they capitalize on that kind of thing. And also I think there's been quite a but it's age old, isn't it, that you don't put yourself first.st I think people are doing that more and more now, and certainly, you know, more recently in the new generations. 100 00:11:41.450 --> 00:11:53.960 Martina Gruppo: But I I think my generation. It felt that if you put yourself 1st it was almost a selfish thing. You couldn't necessarily prioritise your needs and wants. You had to put other people first, st 101 00:11:54.300 --> 00:12:08.520 Martina Gruppo: and it took me a long, long time. It was almost a process of brain training to to say to myself, No, you are actually allowed to say no, or you shouldn't have gone along with that, or that didn't make you happy. 102 00:12:08.670 --> 00:12:13.460 Martina Gruppo: And I think since the separation, or since leaving the relationship 103 00:12:14.615 --> 00:12:23.259 Martina Gruppo: I've actually enjoyed, and it doesn't have to be anything huge, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of anybody else. But just 104 00:12:23.780 --> 00:12:42.340 Martina Gruppo: being some of the time, you know, just just doing things for me, doing things that I like doing, saying yes, or meeting friends, or or maybe not meeting anybody, maybe just being on my own for a bit. You know, all of these things are about prioritizing yourself, I guess. 105 00:12:42.500 --> 00:12:44.959 Martina Gruppo: Does that answer the question? Yeah. 106 00:12:46.090 --> 00:12:46.930 Avik Chakraborty: You know what I mean. 107 00:12:47.050 --> 00:12:55.110 Avik Chakraborty: So also, like your story, is filled with the moments of the resilience, humor, and the faith. So. 108 00:12:56.620 --> 00:13:01.069 Avik Chakraborty: How have these elements played a role in your healing journey? 109 00:13:02.680 --> 00:13:08.249 Martina Gruppo: In in terms of the writing, you mean. Well, the writing was was 110 00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:18.449 Martina Gruppo: paramount. It was everything I mean. I I had to motivate, motivate myself to get up in the morning and to go and write several chapters of what was 111 00:13:18.690 --> 00:13:25.739 Martina Gruppo: really emotional. Tough stuff. You know it was. It was difficult, and sometimes I would actually have to. 112 00:13:25.760 --> 00:13:35.040 Martina Gruppo: I would push away the laptop that I was writing on, because it was so difficult reading back on the words, you know, and seeing what I'd actually gone through. 113 00:13:35.270 --> 00:13:51.890 Martina Gruppo: But also the more I wrote the more and the more I edited, because editing plays a huge part in it, but the more you sort of work work around it. It is a form of therapy. It was certainly a form of therapy for me, and it was. It was amazing 114 00:13:52.030 --> 00:13:57.619 Martina Gruppo: and difficult and painful. But most of all it was amazing to be able to get the story out there. 115 00:13:57.766 --> 00:13:58.060 Avik Chakraborty: To the. 116 00:13:58.060 --> 00:13:58.920 Martina Gruppo: Page. 117 00:13:59.260 --> 00:13:59.830 Avik Chakraborty: True 118 00:14:01.970 --> 00:14:02.745 Avik Chakraborty: and 119 00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:13.799 Avik Chakraborty: So in the book you discuss how lack of boundaries made you vulnerable to the narcissistic abuse. So 120 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:18.419 Avik Chakraborty: what advice would you give to someone who might be in a similar situation. 121 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:28.399 Martina Gruppo: It's it's a bit like being. I don't know, deciding that you need to lose some weight. 122 00:14:28.640 --> 00:14:41.080 Martina Gruppo: and you have to train yourself into, you know, more exercise, healthier eating, you know it's it's a way of changing. It's almost like changing your lifestyle. Only this is 123 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:50.199 Martina Gruppo: changing a part of your brain that has always bent over backwards, if you like. If you're constantly 124 00:14:50.740 --> 00:14:53.849 Martina Gruppo: putting other people first, st there will 125 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:56.120 Martina Gruppo: come a breaking point where you're 126 00:14:56.910 --> 00:14:58.509 Martina Gruppo: you're not happy. 127 00:14:58.710 --> 00:15:10.780 Martina Gruppo: and it's you know, that you're not happy because of the fact that you I I don't quite. It's hard to say, I mean for me, for my advice for anybody going through this kind of situation 128 00:15:10.830 --> 00:15:21.700 Martina Gruppo: is very slowly start to look at what makes you happy. It's not a selfish thing to say that it's not a selfish thing to want your needs to be met. 129 00:15:21.730 --> 00:15:30.090 Martina Gruppo: and it could be anything from the freedom to go for a walk without feeling guilty, to wearing whatever clothes you want to wear 130 00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:41.750 Martina Gruppo: to having your hair. However, you want to have your hair style without it being criticised by somebody else, and that person could be criticising it with a smile on their face. 131 00:15:42.370 --> 00:15:45.160 Martina Gruppo: But if it doesn't make you feel good. 132 00:15:45.270 --> 00:15:49.219 Martina Gruppo: there's something there's something that needs to change there. 133 00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:50.659 Martina Gruppo: if you see but. 134 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:53.170 Avik Chakraborty: Understood 135 00:15:55.010 --> 00:15:56.109 Avik Chakraborty: also, like 136 00:15:57.510 --> 00:15:58.516 Avik Chakraborty: I mean, 137 00:15:59.060 --> 00:16:00.569 Avik Chakraborty: beyond the writing. 138 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:10.929 Avik Chakraborty: What are the other practices? Or maybe the activities that have been essential in your healing and the recovery process. 139 00:16:11.630 --> 00:16:14.379 Martina Gruppo: Sorry. Could you repeat that I didn't quite get that. 140 00:16:14.380 --> 00:16:16.250 Avik Chakraborty: Yeah, I mean, beyond writing. 141 00:16:16.330 --> 00:16:24.250 Avik Chakraborty: What are other activities or the practices were most essential in your healing and the recovery process. 142 00:16:24.610 --> 00:16:26.809 Martina Gruppo: Oh, gosh! Saying yes. 143 00:16:26.880 --> 00:16:48.019 Martina Gruppo: saying yes, and saying No, you know it. I think there's things so in the in the general healing process there are so many things that I have done which I do to to just make myself feel better. Plants, plants play huge role. My life, and I love my garden, and I love my plants. 144 00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:50.490 Martina Gruppo: Exercise swimming. 145 00:16:50.820 --> 00:17:01.019 Martina Gruppo: It just frees your brain just to to not think just to switch off for a little bit saying yes to spontaneous plans. 146 00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:23.910 Martina Gruppo: saying, buying what I want to buy in the supermarket without being told what to buy, or you know the usual stuff. It's it's it's about not being controlled. It's a it's about being in control of my own, of what I want to do and how I want to do it. That's I think, yeah, all of those are are just really important. 147 00:17:25.710 --> 00:17:27.279 Avik Chakraborty: Okay, okay? 148 00:17:28.530 --> 00:17:29.770 Avik Chakraborty: And 149 00:17:30.210 --> 00:17:31.150 Avik Chakraborty: so 150 00:17:31.750 --> 00:17:34.629 Avik Chakraborty: also, if you, if if you talk about 151 00:17:35.630 --> 00:17:36.949 Avik Chakraborty: be of. 152 00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:42.029 Avik Chakraborty: you have lived through a variety of challenges. So 153 00:17:42.700 --> 00:17:48.219 Avik Chakraborty: so, and you maintain a strong sense of optimism and faith in a better future. 154 00:17:48.290 --> 00:17:51.060 Avik Chakraborty: So what keeps you hopefully. 155 00:17:53.210 --> 00:18:01.349 Martina Gruppo: I don't. I don't think he destroyed me. I don't think he managed to destroy me. I think I I've always maintained 156 00:18:02.070 --> 00:18:21.510 Martina Gruppo: eternal optimism. I have a really decent work. Ethic. I like making people happy, but not to the point that it makes me unhappy. I think that's been a real change in me that if something doesn't feel right, then I don't do it. 157 00:18:21.620 --> 00:18:30.580 Martina Gruppo: And I don't think that that makes me selfish. I just think it's about putting certain boundaries in place where you don't want to be 158 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:47.579 Martina Gruppo: always saying yes, because I think I think the problem is, if you always say yes to everything and to everybody. In the end you forget about yourself. I think I might have gone off on a tangent there. Sorry, but I I'm a positive person. I really 159 00:18:47.970 --> 00:18:54.097 Martina Gruppo: I think the best is yet to come. Gosh! I hope the best is yet to come. I mean, 160 00:18:54.500 --> 00:19:00.759 Martina Gruppo: cancer was a leveler. I've you know I went through cancer. But that was a long time ago, and I just 161 00:19:00.810 --> 00:19:02.849 Martina Gruppo: I just feel as though 162 00:19:03.560 --> 00:19:17.350 Martina Gruppo: there's so much out there to life. There is so much to enjoy, and there is so much to be happy about. And you've just got to kind of pick and choose the right ones the right things to make you happy. I think that's what 163 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:28.659 Martina Gruppo: I think. That's how I really feel going forward. And I'm not scared. I'm not scared of doing things. I think I've been through the scariest time at least. I hope so. 164 00:19:29.280 --> 00:19:31.280 Avik Chakraborty: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. 165 00:19:31.780 --> 00:19:37.660 Avik Chakraborty: Oh, lovely. So finally, what message do you hope? Readers take away from your book. 166 00:19:37.710 --> 00:19:39.630 Avik Chakraborty: especially those 167 00:19:39.730 --> 00:19:44.159 Avik Chakraborty: who may be struggling with their own experiences of the trauma and the abuse. 168 00:19:45.760 --> 00:19:55.020 Martina Gruppo: My absolute and honest reason for writing that book was because I couldn't find any other personal accounts 169 00:19:55.160 --> 00:20:08.129 Martina Gruppo: written down book like that. I couldn't find anything anywhere that I could relate to. I found an awful lot of stuff online. And and you know, psychological books. There's plenty of papers and things like that out there. 170 00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:17.149 Martina Gruppo: What I really wanted to do was to show people that anybody who is going through something like this, you're not on your own. 171 00:20:17.640 --> 00:20:20.230 Martina Gruppo: And you aren't going mad. 172 00:20:21.110 --> 00:20:26.830 Martina Gruppo: and they don't. They aren't actually that original in what they do. 173 00:20:26.870 --> 00:20:37.729 Martina Gruppo: because I've had so much feedback from the book, which has been quite incredible where people have said to me, Oh, my goodness! I could be reading my own story, or 174 00:20:37.760 --> 00:20:48.620 Martina Gruppo: that's exactly what happened to me, and I think the more we realize that these words are written, for people who are going through exactly the same thing 175 00:20:48.800 --> 00:20:57.019 Martina Gruppo: will help empower. People will help people feel stronger to to actually say, Yeah, I'm not actually going to put up with this anymore. 176 00:20:57.290 --> 00:21:05.570 Martina Gruppo: And it and it's not about running away from something. It's about saying I'm not okay with this. This isn't the right way to get behave. 177 00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:19.619 Martina Gruppo: and I think the one thing that I really regret is I didn't trust my instincts, my my physical instincts, because your body knows your body knows even before your mind or your heart. Your body is, is 178 00:21:20.040 --> 00:21:25.139 Martina Gruppo: is sparking off warning signals all of the time. Trust trust yourself 179 00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:35.070 Martina Gruppo: because I think that's the key thing. You really need to trust what you really know what's going on in your head and your mind, and if anybody 180 00:21:35.340 --> 00:22:03.559 Martina Gruppo: gets anything from this, I mean the book isn't all doom and gloom. There's plenty of, you know, humor and and dark black humor and anecdotes, and you know, and my sort of view on life in general. But I what I would like more than anything is for it to resonate with people where they say, Yes, yeah, that happened to me. I am not alone in this. I think that's what I want more than anything. 181 00:22:03.940 --> 00:22:15.333 Avik Chakraborty: Lovely, lovely, that's really great, great. So thank you, Martina, for sharing your powerful story with us today, and your journey from trauma to healing is an inspirational 182 00:22:16.090 --> 00:22:21.349 Avik Chakraborty: To anyone who's faced familiar, I mean similar challenges and the struggles. 183 00:22:21.410 --> 00:22:24.129 Avik Chakraborty: And for those who are listening. 184 00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:38.859 Avik Chakraborty: If Martina's story resonate with you. I encourage you to check out her memoir, where you will find not only a deeply honest account of her experiences, but also a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. 185 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:45.499 Avik Chakraborty: So remember that setting boundaries and saying No to yourself, are crucial steps in reclaiming your life. So 186 00:22:45.610 --> 00:22:52.070 Avik Chakraborty: stay tuned for more episodes of healthy mind and healthy life, where we continue to explore the stories of courage. 187 00:22:52.130 --> 00:23:00.759 Avik Chakraborty: transformation, and pursuit of a better and healthier life. So until next time. Take care of your mind, body, and the soul. Thank you so much. 188 00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:04.699 Martina Gruppo: Thank you very much. Thank you for letting me be a guest on your.

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In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik sits down with visionary engineer, inventor, and biohacker Ben to dive deep into the innovative world of biohacking and molecular hydrogen therapy. Ben shares his journey into the realm of biohacking, revealing how his quest for optimal health and vitality led him to discover the transformative power of molecular hydrogen. From tackling mental fog to enhancing energy levels, Ben explains how his self-engineered hydrogen therapy has revolutionized his approach to health and longevity. Whether you're a seasoned biohacker or curious about cutting-edge wellness therapies, this episode offers valuable insights into the future of health optimization.

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In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, Avik sits down with Pramoda, an accomplished leadership coach with over 21 years of experience in the software industry. Pramoda shares his transformative journey from being a hesitant software engineer to becoming a confident leader and coach. The discussion delves into the concept of self-leadership, the importance of self-awareness in effective leadership, and how Pramoda’s personal experiences shaped his coaching approach. He also discusses his goal-setting journey, starting with five simple goals in 2003, and how achieving them led to significant personal and professional growth. Tune in to learn how to lead yourself first to lead others successfully.

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In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik delves into the profound connections between art, faith, and personal growth with Rabbi Alon, a creativity consultant and spiritual leader. Drawing on his diverse experiences—from his work as a rabbi to his deep involvement in the arts—Rabbi Alon shares insights into the common challenges artists face, such as imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the struggle to find authenticity in their work. Together, they explore how understanding one’s unique voice and embracing emotional risk can unlock true creative potential. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to deepen their connection to both their art and their spiritual journey.

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9 Aug 202421min

In this episode of "Healthy Mind, Healthy Life," we explore the art of thriving under pressure with Phil White Bloom, a seasoned sales expert and dynamic leader with over 40 years of experience. From his early leadership roles during college to climbing the ranks at Sony and beyond, Phil shares invaluable insights on building resilience, managing stress, and leading teams through challenging times. Discover how to navigate high-pressure environments, the importance of mentorship in leadership, and practical strategies for staying calm and focused in the face of adversity. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that applies not just to sales, but to every aspect of life.

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9 Aug 202429min