Why Every Man Needs a Why: Justin Smith on Fatherhood, Midlife, and Men’s Mental Health
13 Minutes16 Okt

Why Every Man Needs a Why: Justin Smith on Fatherhood, Midlife, and Men’s Mental Health

Every 13 minutes in America, a man takes his own life. In this powerful episode, Dr. Baruch “B” HaLevi goes straight to the deep end with guest Justin Smith—an actuary and father—on how stats, fatherhood, and men’s peer groups can move us from numb survival to purpose. They unpack the cost of never stating your preferences, why midlife math matters, and how modeling emotional fitness at home can change generations.Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔹 What You'll Learn:Purpose is practiced, not guessed. Use data to inform your life, not replace your humanity.Stating preferences is intimacy work; silence breeds unfair resentment.Model what you want your kids to emulate: movement, honest emotion, and community.Midlife math is motivating: your time isn’t infinite—act accordingly.Peer groups give men consistent, skilled relationships beyond acquaintances.📌 Timestamp Highlights:[00:00–00:36] Why “13 Minutes” — Every 13 minutes a man dies by suicide; Dr. B sets the gravity of the show.[01:06–02:06] Actuary’s take — Justin explains risk groups, isolation, veterans, and nuance behind the statistic.[07:44–08:55] Fatherhood as a mirror — Becoming a dad forces him to confront his habits and live with purpose.[09:03–10:01] Advice to 13-year-old self — Passion matters more than money; today you can build a life doing almost anything.[15:18–17:13] Raising a son differently — Affection, roughhousing, agency, and modeling emotional availability.[18:26–22:13] “Chinese vs. tacos” story — How avoiding preferences builds hidden resentment that later erupts.[24:20–26:21] Therapy & repair — Couples and individual therapy open space for honesty in his marriage.[27:58–29:32] Midlife math — At 39–40, your “life left” becomes less than what you’ve lived—true midlife.[36:19–39:11] Model it, don’t preach it — Kids learn fitness and emotional expression by seeing it lived.[39:42–40:48] Dad’s note on joyless sacrifice — A generational shift in parenting and purpose.[41:47–44:00] The email that changed their relationship — Vulnerability with his father deepens their bond.[44:31–46:12] Peer group breakthrough — From resisting connection to craving it monthly.[47:27–48:46] Zero→One courage — Breaking generational patterns by being the first to step into peer groups.🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

Episoder(25)

Understanding Your Enneagram Type and Transforming Your Reactions

Understanding Your Enneagram Type and Transforming Your Reactions

In this episode, we dive deep into the Enneagram and how understanding your type can help you navigate emotions, relationships, and personal growth. We explore the power of recognizing your core motivations, particularly through the lens of Type Eight (The Challenger) and Type One (The Reformer). By examining the role of anger and control, we uncover practical ways to harness these emotions rather than be controlled by them.Key Takeaways:Knowing Your Why: Understanding your deeper motivations helps you navigate challenges with clarity.The Iceberg Analogy: 90% of who we are lies beneath the surface, influencing our reactions in ways we may not realize.Anger as a Tool: Eights express anger outwardly, while Ones tend to repress it, but both can harness it for personal growth.Reaction vs. Response: By creating space between a trigger and reaction, we gain the power to choose our response.Persona vs. True Self: The Enneagram helps us differentiate between the masks we wear and our authentic selves.The Power of Awareness: Recognizing emotional patterns allows us to break free from automatic reactions.Notable Quotes:"If I know my why, I stop focusing on the surface.""Anger isn’t good or bad; it’s how we use it that matters.""Understanding our Enneagram type helps us step back and watch our reactions instead of being consumed by them.""The antidote to being stuck in your type is often written within the Enneagram itself."Practical Applications:Journal about moments when you felt triggered and analyze the deeper motivation behind your reaction.Identify a type that challenges you and try to understand their perspective using the Enneagram framework.When strong emotions arise, pause and ask yourself: Is this reaction serving me or limiting me?Experiment with "faking" traits of another type to break out of automatic responses.Resources Mentioned:The Enneagram as a tool for personal growth and self-awareness.The Jewish perspective on self-identity and the power of "I am."How historical figures like Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi harnessed their emotions for a greater purpose.Final Thoughts:Self-awareness is the first step toward transformation. The Enneagram provides a roadmap to better understand ourselves and others, allowing us to move from reactive patterns to intentional responses. Whether you’re an Eight, a One, or any other type, the journey to self-mastery starts with observing, understanding, and ultimately embracing the strengths and challenges of your personality.==Join our Own Your Number Enneagram Program just for 98$, and well, own your relationships. Check out here: https://ownyournumber.defiantspirit.org/pages/home🔔 Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baruch_halevi/Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/TheDefiantSpirit#Enneagram #EnneagramType #EnneagramTest #Man #Men #DefiantSpirit #DrBaruchHaLevi #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth

6 Mar 47min

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